Real Mom, Step Mom, Foster Mom, Adoptive Mom

November 19th, 2009

931217_momIt is amazing how the word mom means so many different things to different people.  I wish life were more simple, but it is not and in fact it seems to be getting more complicated all the time. I choose to write about this subject under the category of Transracial adoption because the fact that we are obviously different does make the "mom title" very important. Mita especially is confused as to "who" I am and will often say step mom or refer to her Ethiopian mom as her "real" mom.  I have to admit that the step mom thing bothered me quite a bit.  Not that I am against step parenting, but to me a step mom is someone who chooses to… [more]

Stretching It

November 13th, 2009
Categories: Media, Points to Ponder

ChalkboardI was cleaning out my email account recently, when I came across a URL I had sent myself to look at. It's from June 1st, regarding Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban adopting a baby from Vietnam. I wasn't struck by the article, which by now is old news, but by the comments. (I'm leaving in all the spelling mistakes. Really people, how hard is it to read what you write before you click post?) Doesnt anyone want to adopt an AMERICAN child??!!! ~ E I was thinking the same thing!! There are so many children that need loving parents right here in our own country and everyone seems to be going overseas to adopt. ~ M I dont understand celebrities. Yes children of other… [more]

Digital Scrapbooking Update

November 6th, 2009
Categories: Scrapbooks

Back in May, I wrote the post Where Are All the Brown Kid Stickers? about my quest for finding brown children in scrapbooking embellishments. Since then, I've been keeping my eyes peeled for brown children, especially in digital scrapbooking kits. Tomorrow, November 7, is (Inter)National Digital Scrapbooking Day. (Don't ask me why they write it like that, with the parentheses.) Because many digital stores are having sales for the occasion, I thought I'd take a moment to point out my favorite designers, who became my favorites in large part due to their multicultural embellishments. At the top of the list is Wimpychompers. As far as I've seen every single one of her kits contains at least one brown child. And her kits are adorable! Close behind… [more]

National Adoption Month

November 5th, 2009

USMap

You may know that November is National Adoption Month. Courtney wrote a great post about it on the Adoptive Parenting blog. Although we can all celebrate our adoptions - past, present, and future - National Adoption Month focuses on adopting from the US foster care system. This year's theme is "You don't have to be a perfect parent." According to about.com, the focus for 2009 is encouraging the African American community to consider adoption. There are 510,000 children in foster care, approximately 129,000 of whom are legally available for adoption. The National Foster Care Coalition reports that "the percentage of children of color in foster care is higher than that of the general US population" and that children… [more]

Racism and Health Care

October 27th, 2009

Hospital CorridorI've been following the health care reform bills, though I can't say I'm keeping track of the minute-to-minute changes. Personally, I support a strong public option that ensures that all Americans have access to good health care. What does this have to do with transracial adoption? My son's birthmother, S, has a son whom she parents. "Iggy" is 5 years old. Just before his third birthday, Iggy experienced at least two unexplained seizures. When S brought him to the emergency room on a Friday, she was told that they "didn't do MRIs on the weekends" and to bring Iggy back on Monday. On Sunday, Iggy had an 8 minute long seizure. He lost his eye sight, though it is, thankfully, returning. More… [more]

Finding The Right Words With The Press

October 19th, 2009
Categories: Adoptive Parenting

1110330_new_magazinesThe other night my Hubby and I had dinner with some friends.  These friends also invited another one of their friends who is a reporter for our local paper.  Said writer is extremely nice and we have met her before.  She wants to do a piece on our adoptive family.  I baulked at first, not wanting attention (I seem to draw enough without trying to!).  We eventually agreed as I thought it would be a good way to promote adoption and adoption reform in November as well as educate during National Adoption Month. She only has 500 words and there is so much to talk about with adoption I will be interested to read the final outcome.  I talked about older child adoption, transracial adoption… [more]

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Judge Isn’t Racist, But Won’t Marry Different-Race Couples

October 19th, 2009
Categories: Media, Racial Issues

Beth Humphrey and Terence McKayOn Friday, the Internet brought forth this lovely article, making some believe it was 1967: Interracial Couple Denied Marriage License in LA Judge Keith Bardwell will not marry interracial couples "out of concern for any children the couple might have". Bardwell also told the Associated Press, " I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way... I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else." Wow. On the bright side, this publicity has caused many in Louisiana, including Republican Governor Bobby Jindal, to call for Bardwell's dismissal. Bardwell is an elected official, and must follow state… [more]

Zahara’s Hair

October 15th, 2009

Angeline and Zahara JoliePeople, such as this one from Newsweek, are now judging Angelina Jolie's daughter's hair. If you don't have access to media, you might not know that Angelina adopted Zahara from Ethiopia a few years ago. Zahara is now four. There have been several photos of "Angie" out and about with her kids, and always - ALWAYS - someone mentions how awful Zahara's hair looks. This makes me very angry. I admit that I have remained fairly ignorant of the importance of hair to Black women. I have a boy who has curly hair that doesn't require any special maintenance. I don't do much to my own hair. Doing a girl's hair will be a new, terrifying experience for me. I… [more]

Racially Neutral Names

October 9th, 2009

RoseNames are powerful. They define who we are. They often precede us on school rosters, resumes, and applications of all sorts. People do discriminate on the basis of a name. In the book Beyond Jennifer and Jason, the authors cite a study in which the same essay was submitted to teachers with different names attached to it. "Ethel" didn't do as well as "Jennifer". Names carry stereotypes. Tell me, based on nothing else, who's smarter - Bambi or Rachel? Now, you know, intellectually, that a name doesn't make a person smart. But when you think of "Bambi" are you thinking "Here comes the next President of the United States" or "Now, appearing live on the Pussycat Stage"? Names that don't sound "American" (that… [more]

Coming Soon: Princess Tiana

September 28th, 2009
Categories: Media

The Princess and the FrogI'm at Disneyland this week! Disneyland is glutted with Halloween merchandise, including $65.00 princess costumes. Among them is Princess Tiana. You haven't heard of Princess Tiana? She's the first African American Disney Princess. It may have all started with a petition that made the rounds of the adoption.com forums community in 2006. Then again, Disney plans its movies at least 5 years in advance, so it may simply have been a coincidence that Disney announced that The Princess and the Frog would feature an African American princess. Set in 1920's New Orleans, at first, the princess was named Maddy and she was a chambermaid. The Daily Show's Larry Wilmore did an excellent segment on that revelation, back in 2007… [more]