Every time I think I have this category just about wrapped up, I think of another “adoption roadblock”. When I first started this I didn’t realize just how many reasons there are out there for people NOT to adopt. Hopefully by discussing them, sharing my experiences and providing additional resources, some people will feel inspired to move forward with their adoption plans.

Following this series of posts on travel, I plan on addressing ethical concerns related to adoption, and then some of the “irrational fear” that can creep on you. If you have... more

In my last two posts I have been discussing the fears many prospective adoptive parents have regarding transracial adoption and raising a child of another race, as well as some of the issues involved in being a transracial family.

Now I am going to tell you why, despite it all, I support transracial adoption.

As I sat in a hotel room in Africa, with so many things fresh in my mind, I wrote this post explaining in detail why I feel... more

In my previous post I started discussing the "transracial adoption roadblock" of racial issues. These are probably the biggest and most complex issues surrounding transracial adoption, and are not ones that can be wrapped up neatly with a bow.

A fear that I have heard expressed by many prospective adoptive parents is their worry that they can do a good job raising a child of another race. A lot of times parents start off confident that they can do just... more

You have considered the financial challenges, the emotional challenges and the difficulty of the adoption process itself. You have addressed concerns regarding the physical health and the emotional health of your future child. You have gotten past the “reluctant... more

Knowing the warning signs for attachment difficulty and weak attachment is a good thing, but knowing strategies to improve your child’s attachment is just as important. Here are some tips.

-Have as much physical contact as possible. Carry a baby or toddler in a carrier. Rock children of all ages in your lap in a rocking chair. Consider co-sleeping with your child, at least in the beginning. With older kids, try hair brushing, back rubbing, rubbing lotion on arms and legs, playing games... more

In this post I started discussing fears regarding attachment and bonding that many adoptive parents have. Now I am going to discuss risk factors for attachment problems in children.

There are several known risk-factors that can make a child more likely to have attachment difficulties, and many of them occur frequently in the lives of children available for adoption.

Some of the risk factors for attachment problems are...

- one or more changes in caretaker... more

Continuing on in the thread of barriers to adoptions and concerns related to adopting…

I have already written about the worries that many prospective adoptive parents have about being able to love an adopted child “the same” as they would love a child that they gave birth to (you can read those posts here and here if you missed them).

Today I am going to write... more

Another difficult issue involved in deciding to adopt transracially, is when your extended family does not approve. Sometimes families have racial issues, sometimes they worry about loving an adopted child, sometimes they have worries about the child’s health, sometimes they think you already have enough children and sometimes they have seen one too many “adoption go wrong” stories on the news, and are worried about you getting hurt. There are many reasons that an extended family may not be supportive of a transracial adoption.

It is important to remember that while you have (hopefully) put a lot of time, thought, research and education into deciding to adopt, your extended family... more

Choosing to adopt transracially is a big deal. It is complicated and emotional, and requires research, education, devotion and commitment. As I have written about here and here, deciding to adopt transracially is often complicated by the issues involved and the nature of the process.

Now I am going to discuss another situation that can make choosing to adopt transracially challenging. That is when one parent wants to adopt and the other does not, or just is not ready.

On blogs, adoption... more

One thing that I realized early on in our first adoption, was the way that how throughout the adoption process, you have to continually reconfirm your decision to adopt.

Sure, a couple may decide one night after much discussion, “o.k., let’s do it. Let’s adopt a child.” But oftentimes, when they have to fill out the mountain of paperwork for their homestudy, or send in a big chunk of money to immigration, or choose an adoption agency, or any other one of the other seemingly endless steps in the adoption process, they have to reconfirm that decision to adopt and to keep moving forward.

I remind you that ALL parents, no matter how they are becoming parents, have second thoughts... more