As I said when I started this category, I meet a lot of people who comment to me (seemingly genuinely) that they have “always wanted” to adopt, but just never have. It got me to thinking about what stops some people from moving forward.

Specifically choosing to adopt transracially is often even more complicated and difficult than just deciding to adopt, because of the extra issues involved with becoming a transracial family. Choosing to parent a child of a different race is not a decision that should be made lightly, and is one that a lot of thought, research and preparation should go in to.

Today I am going to talk about the very beginning of the process, the actual deciding... more

In the last few posts I discussed whether or not the adoption process itself is “hard”, and gave some tips on how to make it easier.

Today I am going to discuss the emotional aspects of adoption that can make it “hard”, and can often intimidate people enough that never start on their adoption journey.

Adoption is emotional. It is the pure joy and excitement that is unique to being blessed with a new child. It is the sheer nerves, anticipation and even fear that is unique to being blessed with a new child. It is loss…all adoptions involve... more

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In a nutshell, the first step to almost all adoptions is the homestudy. The homestudy must be performed by an agency or social worker in your state that is licensed to do homestudies. Make sure that the agency or social worker you have chosen is familiar with doing homestudies for parents adopting from (where ever you have decided to adopt from). Find out the homestudy requirements for that program before you start, and you will save yourself having to have changes... more

As I have been writing about in this category, there are many concerns that often become barriers to people considering adoption.

One question that I get a lot by people who are contemplating adoption is, “Isn’t it really hard to adopt?”

Our standard line to that question has become, “Well, we’ve managed to do it seven times in five years, so it can’t be too difficult!”

But being serious, I do give people a quick sum up of the process, and explain that while there are lots of hoops to jump through, lots of paperwork to accomplish,... more

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Perspective adoptive parents should educate themselves on different health issues and conditions common in adopted children and get a good idea of what they feel they can or cannot handle, what risks they can and cannot take and then be open and honest with their social workers and adoption agency. On one hand no parent should ever feel pressure to adopt a child that they do not feel 100% comfortable in accepting and yet on the other hand, no child... more

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I would highly recommend all perspective adoptive families to have a conversation about what special needs they may or may not be willing to handle very early on in their adoption. While there are some parents who decide that they are only open to a “healthy” child, or one without any known health conditions or needs, there are also parents that purposefully choose to adopt children with known health conditions.

“Special needs” can be anything from... more

Today I am going to continue to address issues that are commonly barriers for people considering adoption, and are also often concerns for families that do move forward with their adoption plans.

I have already written about financial barriers as well as the worry of being able to love an adopted child the same way a parent loves a child born to them. Now I am going to tackle the health issue, as that is one that seems to pop up very early on in the “considering adoption process” and is a question that I get a lot.

I know that very early on in our first adoption... more

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Now for some advice on how to move past the fear of not being able to love an adopted child as “your own”, or as much as you love your biological children.

-Talk to other adoptive families. While there are some adoptions that do not have a happy ending, an overwhelming majority of adoptions turn out beautifully. Many adoptive parents are more than happy to talk about their experiences, their fears in the beginning and how things turned out for them. Hearing another adoptive parent admit to having similar concerns early on in their adoption process, and then seeing... more

Last week I wrote about financial barriers to adoption, both the cost of the actual adoption itself, and the cost of adding another child to your family.

Today I am going to talk about a different barrier to adoption for many people, and that is the fear of not being able to love an adopted child as “your own”.

This is a common fear, and one that often stops a couple or parent from moving forward with adopting. I have heard it time and time again…”I don’t know if I can love a child that isn’t mine” or “I don’t know if I can love an adopted child as much as the child I gave birth to.” Here are some of my thoughts on this one.

-It is normal to question something that... more

ME NEITHER.

As you have probably heard around the web lately, United States Citizen and Immigration Services is trying to raise the already way-too-high in-my-not-so-humble-opinion-fees that they charge adoptive parents. There is a comment period that is ending in the next few days (April 2), so please, if you haven't already, let them know that this STINKS.

Here is the press release, dated Jan. 31, 2007.

January 31, 2007

Press Release

BUILDING AN IMMIGRATION SERVICE FOR THE 21ST CENTURY

USCIS Proposes New Fees for Immigration and Naturalization Benefit Applications

WASHINGTON—U.S. Citizenship... more