Continued from previous posts...

There are some agencies that are now, because of the huge imbalance of families requesting girls and boys, implementing policies making it so that parents can not choose the gender of their child if they are waiting for an infant referral. Some make this true for families with kids of both genders already in the home, and some make it effective for all of their adoptive families.

On one hand, I figure that if you are having a child “the old fashioned way”, you don’t get to choose, and you are blessed with whatever gender you get. On the other hand, I have heard a lot of families who for whatever reason, are only willing to adopt one gender (usually... more

Continued from previous post...

The race issue certainly comes into play here as well. Many people openly admit that they have many more concerns/fears/insecurities in raising a black boy into the teenage years and adulthood than they do a black girl. Are there challenges to raising a black boy in this day and age? Absolutely.

But without discounting the issues that families are likely to encounter raising a black son in this country, I think it is important for all perspective parents to realize and embrace the fact that racial issues will exist and will become part of your life and will be something you have to deal with, whether you adopt a black girl or a black boy (or... more

Early in our first adoption process I heard the statistic that over 80% of adoptive parents with a gender preference of the child they are adopting, want a girl. I have since heard that statistic over and over, but I have no idea if it is accurate or where it comes from.

I DO however know that there definitely seems to be an overwhelming preference in “adoption land” for baby girls. I have seen the differences in “wait times” for a referral for an infant girl over an infant boy. I have seen some agencies, especially ones with Guatemala programs, lower fees and even consider baby boys “special needs” because they are so much harder to place than girls. I have heard agency reps say that... more

Football might not seem like it has much to do with transracial adoption, but in this case it does! After the two NFL play off games yesterday, history has been made twice. Tony Dungy, head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, and Lovie Smith, head coach of the Chicago Bears are both taking their teams to the Super Bowl this year, and both head coaches are black.

This will be the first time that any African American coach has made it to the Super Bowl, and since both teams playing in the big game this year have black coaches, it will be the first time... more

Continued from previous posts...

Last but not least, my sweet Belane. As most of you know I spent two weeks in Ethiopia with Belane in a hotel room. We had one king-sized bed and she slept great in between Josh and I (although she whimpered in her sleep that whole first night).

She was a bit trickier to get to fall asleep for naps in the beginning…at first I tried all sorts of tricks, from carrying her in a hip carrier, to riding in the taxi, etc. However after a few days I just had to shut off the TV, darken the room and lay down... more

Continued from previous post...

Other things to keep in mind regarding adoption, kids and sleep…

-You can’t read the sleep books and take the advice from grandparents, etc. that isn’t especially for adopted children, because it is a much different situation than a biological child that has been with you since birth and is having sleep issues. Very newly adopted children are often very much like newborns in the fact that they can’t be spoiled…they need lots of love and attention to become securely bonded and attached.

-Some kids... more

Continued from previous post...

So what is a parent to do? A lot depends on your child’s age and your own unique family, beliefs, etc., but here are a few suggestions on getting everyone a good night’s sleep and some of our experiences.

I always tackle a new child and the sleep issue by having two goals… a long term goal and a short term goal. The long term goal being the child happily going off to bed at bedtime with hugs and cuddles, a kiss and a “good night” like the rest of our kids. The short term goal is for us to get as good... more

Sleep.

As all parents can tell you…sleep…how much or how little and what quality is being had and by whom… has a direct impact on family life.

When people ask about daily life in our house and how we stay sane with 10 kids, I always say that I don’t mess with two things…meals and sleep.

While most parents expecting a newborn baby are aware of the fact that their sleep is going to be significantly impacted, adoptive parents should also be prepared for sleep struggles in the beginning, no matter what age of child they are adopting.

When... more

I am, and have always been, a huge Disney fan. I love the movies, I love the tv shows, I love the toys, I love the books, I love Disneyland…you get the idea.

But since we started expanding our family through adoption, it is has consistently bothered me that Disney and their fabulous line of “Princesses”, adored by almost all of the little girls I know (especially my own little girls!), did not have any African or African American princesses.

We have a mermaid with red hair and fair skin, Mulan with her beautiful Chinese features, Jasmine... more

I got an email that asked me to address an issue regarding how to answer comments from others. I have written about handling the typical comments that transracial families tend to get when out in public, in this post and in this post. However this person asked about a different “type” of comment, which involves an issue I haven’t tackled yet.

She wrote,

Many parents of Ethiopian children are told by other people "Your child does not look African." Or they comment on how light their skin... more