The idea that you could possibly not know how old your child is, sounds really bizarre to most people. I cannot tell you how many times after Ben came home that someone would ask me how old he was, and my answer of "about five" would be met with crazy stares and looks of disbelief.

In reality though, it is really not uncommon for adoptive parents, who are adopting internationally, to not know the exact age of their child for a variety of reasons. In many countries, birthdays are not celebrated or even acknowledged. Birth certificates and records that we are used to are... more

Adoptive parents know that one of the hardest aspects of the process is the waiting (and if you notice this theme in my posts lately, you can tell this is not being easy for me!)

Waiting on any given day to be united with your child is tough, but waiting through special occasions, like the holidays and birthdays are even more difficult.

Today is Solomon's birthday. He is two years old.

Well, technically today is the day we are choosing to be Solomon's birthday, as the day he was born is unknown (as is... more

I am not going to write these "a year ago today" posts all week. This is my last one for this week as the rest of the story is pretty stressful (and not anything that many families will experience), but I will have another "a year ago today post" on Nov. 4, which will be a year from when Belane finally arrived home (and I will have tips on surviving those early days home with a new child). If you want to reminisce and reread the posts from our first weeks together (and our drama in Ethiopia) you can follow the links at the bottom of the page.

But today I am thinking about... more

A year ago today, Belane was in my arms again. Most (if not all) adoptive parents spend a whole lot of time imagining (sometimes agonizingly so) about what that first meeting will be like, and what it will feel like to finally have that child you have dreamed about in your arms.

Sometimes, the parents only have one or two blurry pictures of their child, and do not even have a real accurate idea of what the child looks like. Many parents find that their child is either larger or smaller than they imagined, or has grown/aged a lot since that referral picture. Most adoptive parents do not have a very accurate idea of what their child's personality is going to be like, how he will greet... more

A year ago today we arrived, for the second time in 2006, at Bole International Airport in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

In the wee hours of the morning on October 21, 2006, Josh and I drove out of our driveway, leaving my Auntie at our home with Marcus, Shane, Ben, Maggie and Amanda, and the other kids settled in at friends' homes. I remember that it felt very unreal to be on our way to Ethiopia again, as we had just done this trip back in February, and yet at the same time it felt like a life time had passed since we had met Belane.

I was beyond excited to be on my way to her. I felt like a kid on Christmas Eve! At the same time there was a lot of stress, as we knew we were traveling... more

Here is a list of tips and questions to ponder that I give to people who contact me that are interested in adopting a child. I think that this list gives people a good starting point to decide what adoption program is right for them, and also a good starting place for educating themselves on adoption and transracial adoption issues. Please note that there are lots of links in the questions below to guide you to information and resources relevant to the questions.

Questions to ask yourself about the child you hope for:

- What age child am I hoping for? - What gender child am I hoping for? - Am I open to any special needs in a child? - What race(s) of children... more

I have a wee bit of a reputation here where we live of being "the one to go to if you, or someone you know, has a question about adoption." I get a lot of phone calls, emails and people stopping me in the grocery store because their (fill in the blank with daughter, cousin, sister, friend, etc.) is interested in adopting a child.

Some of these people already have children and want to adopt to add to their family because they are older or cannot have any more children. Some of these people want to adopt because it is something they have "always wanted to do" and they are finally in a position to do so. And some of these people come to me after a long, hard, emotional battle with infertility... more

In my last post I started writing about "real orphans" and how I believe that all children who have been orphaned, whether by death or relinquishment, are deserving of being adopted.

However, there are additional issues to consider when children are being relinquished for international adoption in countries that are suffering from poverty, illness, famine, lack of resources and other challenges.

In the United States it can not even be said that no birth parents relinquish their babies because of external pressure and coercion. Unfortunately,... more

Mary over at the Ethiopia Adoption blog as a great post today about "true orphans", and about the conflict some people feel adopting children who still have living parents. I was going to leave a comment, but decided I have enough to say to warrant a post or two of my own. :)

In this post I am going to discuss who I feel qualifies as a true orphan. Is a child who has been orphaned by the death of his parents "more" of an orphan than a child who has been relinquished by parents who cannot care for him because of poverty of illness?

Honestly, I do not believe that one child in an orphanage... more

This week we were finally, officially matched with our Solomon Tsega. I say "finally", but it was less than two months from the day we decided to adopt him and started the process, and in that time we were able to apply to the adoption agency and get all of that paperwork done, apply to a new homestudy agency and get all of that paperwork done, get our new homestudy completed, file and be fingerprinted for our I600A, and complete our dossier for a(nother) Ethiopian adoption.

Our adoption agency, Adoption Advocates International, has been... more