Here is something that I think all transracial families need to embrace. Transracial families are not second best. I believe that with all my heart. I don’t think I could be the best mom that I possibly could for my kids if I was always thinking deep down that I was the “second best” choice for my kids,

Don’t get me wrong. I am not naïve, and I completely understand that in a perfect world, transracial adoption (or any type of adoption) would not exist. I know that in a perfect world, all children would be born to parents that wanted them, loved them and could provide for them. Abuse, neglect, poverty, unplanned pregnancies, drug abuse, illnesses, etc. would not exist and would not... more

I don’t know if there is anything more important that you can do with your kids than talk. All kids need to have open lines of communication, with their parents, but adopted children, and especially transracially-adopted children, need it even more than most.

If you have done any research at all…if you have read any books or read any articles from adult transracial adoptees, it seems that the number one “complaint” is that their families didn’t talk. They didn’t talk about adoption. They didn’t talk about race and they didn’t talk about all the other issues and feelings wrapped up in those things.

Here is an article from Adoption.com http://transracial.adoption.com/interracial/race-and-my-family.html... more

Somehow in all of our discussions about “rude questions” I forgot the worst comment I ever got. I mean, the absolute, without a doubt most ridiculously rude comment anyone has ever said around me.

When we had just adopted our seventh and eight children, two African American sisters who were 9 and 6 years old at the time, a woman (from our church no less), said that…are you ready for this????… She said, “It isn’t fair that you are adopting all of these needy children because you are making other people look bad.”

I was truly, truly speechless. (And those of you that know me well, know that speechless is definitely NOT a condition that I run into very often.)

I can’t... more

I think that "worry" is just a part of parenthood, and when you are the parent in a transracial adoption, you have a lot more "worries" than the average parent. Face it, just facing the routine challenges of teething, weaning, potty training, separation anxiety, fevers, colds, ear infections, that horrible first day of Kindergarten (for Mom), bed-time battles, homework, school bullies, braces, letting go, talking back, the facts of life and EIGHT MILLION other things that parents have to deal with, is A LOT. Then add in to that worries about bonding, attachment, culture, heritage, ethnicity, pride, self-esteem, prejudice, birth families and all the other added issues that come in a transracial... more

Here is a topic I have heard come up a lot with transracial families… the “where to live” topic. I have heard people living in predominantly white neighborhoods voice concerns about adopting transracially. I have heard from people living in the South voice concerns about adopting transracially. I have even heard from people living in very diverse areas voice concerns about adopting transracially because of prejudice and stereotypes that tend to exist in diverse cities.

If you live in a predominantly white community, how is your child of a minority race going to feel standing out physically? How are they going to develop a strong self esteem and a healthy appreciation of their culture,... more

Since I was talking in my earlier post about our supportive community, I thought I would share this here. I posted it on my Rainbowkids blog right before we left for Ethiopia. I think it is a wonderful example of how a small rural community can be overwhelmingly supportive of a transracial family. With our first transracial adoption we had a lot of people question how we would raise a child of a minority race "here", (here being a small, predominantly white community in the Rocky Mountains). Although we don't have a large amount of diversity here, we do have a large number of other adoptive families, and our community is amazingly supportive of us and the other families. So we seek out cultural... more

As I was rereading some of my entries, I realized I missed a bunch of what I wanted to say in my entry on the “Blessings of Transracial Adoption," so here is a little bit more on the same topic.

I neglected to mention one of the biggest blessings, that has nothing to do with myself. One of the biggest blessings of transracial adoption happens for the good of the children in the family. All of my children have such wide-open, loving hearts. They know about other cultures and other races and while they “see” the differences, they do not see one as any better or “less good” than the other.... more

Ok, since I started the whole “pesky and rude questions” things I thought I would share some of our family's most memorable experiences in public. I hope you find the humor in them…I have found that you have to laugh sometimes!

These are all true stories…in no particular order. Enjoy!

Josh and I and eight of the kids (all we had at that point), took a family trip to New York last summer. That is where all of my family lives, and most of them hadn’t met most of my kids, so we made the trip. I guess I had been spoiled living in a place where just about everyone knows us, and where there are a lot of other large and adoptive families. We were quite the spectacle in New York!... more

It never fails. You are out in public with your family, minding your own business, and someone starts eyeing your family. If you’re experienced, you can see them coming a mile away. More often than not the stranger approaches and with very little tact demands to know, “Are these kids yours?” or “Did you adopt these children?” or “Which ones are your REAL kids?” If you are first time adoptive parent of a child of another culture, people’s boldness may come as a surprise, or even a shock. I would never walk up to a couple I didn’t know if they were on their first marriage or any other personal question, but for some reason, when your family is visibly different than the majority, lots of people... more

So often when we talk about transracial adoption, or contemplate transracial adoption or read about transracial adoption, we hear about the difficulties. We hear about the challenges. What will our families think? What will our neighbors think? What will the child think? What will the community think? How can I raise a child of another race? Etc. etc. etc.

I think it is way overdue for us to do some thinking on the blessings of transracial adoption. Yes, there are challenges and difficulties associated with parenting a child of a different race than yourself, but I promise that the blessings are just as numerous.

My world has been completely changed by my children. I grew up... more