In my last post, I wrote about why I feel it is important for adoptive parents to try and "prepare for the worst" when it comes to how their new child will behave, adjust, bond and attach after coming home.

On the flip side of that, I also believe that adoptive parents need to hope for the best. While it is good to educate yourself on what challenges you may face, it is also important to be optimistic. Every parent to be (whether by birth or by adoption) hopes that their baby will sleep through the night and will not be fussy.

Every adoptive parent hopes that their child will be one of the ones... more

There is an old saying among adoptive parents that you should "prepare for the worst and hope for the best", when it comes to your child's adjustment into your family, and how your child will bond and attach to you (and how you in turn, will bond and attach to your child).

While I don't know that it is possible to truly "prepare for the worst", I do think it is very wise to prepare for things to be rough. I have heard a lot of adoptive parents say that they decided not to read a certain book or a certain website because "it was too scary". It is true that hearing about how difficult early days with a new child sometimes are can be very scary, however, I think it is even scarier to... more

I have been sharing some tips to make life easier for you and your family when your new child comes home. Since this is a time of significant adjustment for your entire family, it is a time that calls for some "special treatment".

My tip for today is to create a schedule and stick to it as much as possible, and provide structure for your new child.

A predictable schedule and structure helps make a child feel safe and secure, and this is especially important for a child whose entire life has just been turned upside down. Newly adopted children often feel very... more

I have been writing about ways to prepare emotionally and physically for the arrival of your new child, and then sharing tips on how to make your child's adjustment into your family as smooth as possible.

My tip for this post is to lower your expectations. Cut yourself a break. Make life as easy as you can for yourself. Allow your standards for the things in life that don't... more

While bringing home a new child is usually a much-anticipated event, those early days, weeks and months together are often challenging, as the new child adjusts to life in a new family, and the family gets used to having a new member.

In my next few posts I will offer up some tips for your early days together, and share some things that you can do to promote bonding and attachment and make your adjustment period as easy as possible on parents and children.

Today's tip is to "cocoon".

When your child first comes home, you should cocoon your family as... more

Bringing home a new child, whether he is a baby, toddler, school-aged child or teenager, is a huge event in a family. For my next few posts, I will be offering up advice and sharing tips to help ease the adjustment for you, your new child and your family. These tips will be geared towards families adopting children of all ages, and for families adopting both domestically and internationally.

My tip for today is to prepare. There are things you can to do emotionally prepare for your child's arrival, and there are things that you can do to physically... more

Bringing home a new child, whether he is a baby, toddler, school-aged child or teenager, is a huge event in a family. For my next few posts, I will be offering up advice and sharing tips to help ease the adjustment for you, your new child and your family. These tips will be geared towards families adopting children of all ages, and for families adopting both domestically and internationally.

My tip for today is to prepare. There are things you can to do emotionally prepare for your child's arrival, and there are things that you can do to physically... more

In my last post I started sharing a few of the challenges we had in our early days with Belane. Here are a few more. I hope that in sharing them, they can help prepare you for common behaviors in newly adopted children.

- Going along with the mom anxiety, she had to be physically touching me to fall asleep. Actually, in the beginning she had to be on top of me to let herself fall asleep. It made the long flight home tough, because any time she had to be buckled into her seat and wanted to sleep, she got very sad. I slowly "weaned" her into falling asleep next to me (but cuddling), and... more

In my last post I wrote about some of the pleasant surprises we had in our early days with Belane. In this post I will share some of the challenges that we faced with adopting a three year-old from Ethiopia (she turned three years old on our first day home). Some of the challenges were expected and some were not.

- She was really, really, really anxious about always being near me. I mean she was super anxious. She really liked having a mom, and wanted to be sure that I was not going to disappear. If I closed the door to go to the bathroom, if I closed the shower curtain all the way or if... more

I need to wrap up my little mini-series of posts on meeting our children and our early days together, and all that I have left (for now) is Miss Belane. Since I have already written a ton about meeting her and our early days together (see below), I thought I would share some of the behaviors she had that were challenging, and some of the things that pleasantly surprised us.

Happy surprises in our early days with Belane:

- She liked me! Although I treasured the memories of the first time I had met Belane and spent time with her, I knew that she had surely forgotten that day. I also knew that she was fairly shy, and was at an age common for stranger anxiety. I was deeply in love... more