Continued from previous post...

Marcus was with us from his first day out of the hospital, so he was pretty much like any other newborn and had "normal" newborn sleep habits and patterns. He was a blissfully good (easy) baby.

Mercy and Des came to us at ages 9 and 6. They were not adopted internationally, but their lives were not turned upside down much less than our kids that were adopted internationally. The one benefit that they had was language, and that we could talk about things.

They had always slept together (often... more

Here are some of our personal experiences with sleep and our children that joined our family via adoption…

I think by sharing these stories you will see how some kids are just easier than others and how plans don't always go the way you think. I do have to say that we have been lucky to not have any major sleep challenges, however, before you call me lucky, you should have been around when our Ryan was a baby. IKES. :)

Maggie came home from Vietnam at age 3 ½ months. She had been sleeping in a crib with two other young babies. We... more

Continued from previous post...

Other things to keep in mind regarding adoption, kids and sleep…

-You can’t read the sleep books and take the advice from grandparents, etc. that isn’t especially for adopted children, because it is a much different situation than a biological child that has been with you since birth and is having sleep issues. Very newly adopted children are often very much like newborns in the fact that they can’t be spoiled…they need lots of love and attention to become securely bonded and attached.

-Some kids... more

Continued from previous post...

So what is a parent to do? A lot depends on your child’s age and your own unique family, beliefs, etc., but here are a few suggestions on getting everyone a good night’s sleep and some of our experiences.

I always tackle a new child and the sleep issue by having two goals… a long term goal and a short term goal. The long term goal being the child happily going off to bed at bedtime with hugs and cuddles, a kiss and a “good night” like the rest of our kids. The short term goal is for us to get as good... more

Sleep.

As all parents can tell you…sleep…how much or how little and what quality is being had and by whom… has a direct impact on family life.

When people ask about daily life in our house and how we stay sane with 10 kids, I always say that I don’t mess with two things…meals and sleep.

While most parents expecting a newborn baby are aware of the fact that their sleep is going to be significantly impacted, adoptive parents should also be prepared for sleep struggles in the beginning, no matter what age of child they are adopting.

When... more

June asked, “Here's my question - now that you have adopted children at many different ages, what are your thoughts on the differences in adjustment and/or attachment, based on the age of the child when he/she comes home?”

This is a great question. First let me say that we have adopted two infants (one newborn, one 3 months old), two toddlers (one 23 months old, one 35 months old) and three older children (two six year olds and one nine year old). We have adopted healthy kids and special needs kids. We have adopted single kids and one sibling group of two.

We have been very blessed in that none of our kids have had very challenging adjustments. Like I have said, our two older... more

I would have to say that most, if not all, of the best parenting advice I have ever gotten has come from other parents. Oddly enough…not so much from “well meaning strangers at the grocery store.” :)

Sure, I have learned a lot from books and magazines and those sorts of things, but the REALLY good stuff…the totally practical, AHA-why-didn’t-I-think-of-that sort of stuff, has come from other moms (and dads).

So, after blathering on for three posts yesterday about our “babymoon” and what my plans are for when Belane comes home and how I think I will handle things and what I expect things to be like, now I look to you for some help. Tell me what I’ve missed! Tell me what you... more

Continued from previous posts...

As far as doctor appointments go, while we don’t want to traumatize her right away with lots of poking and prodding, getting her evaluated and getting her treatments started, both for her HIV and for her hearing loss, are definitely a big priority. We have made an appointment with her awesome Pediatric Infectious Disease specialist (who is also an international adoption doctor) for the middle of November, and we will have her seen by our family doctor and the audiologist/ENT soon after coming home as well.

Two more tips for the “babymoon” that I have learned are one, be flexible and two, ask for help when needed.

Being flexible is essential... more

Continued from previous post...

I will spend a lot of time on the floor with the little kids…so we can play and they can be in and out of my lap as they want. I will spend a lot of time holding Belane, rocking Belane…giving her the physical contact that helps so much with bonding. I bought a toddler hip carrier so I can “wear” her if she likes that. (She loves to be “up” is what everyone is telling us and what I noticed when I was there in February).

We are putting the finishing touches on her room downstairs, (which she will be sharing with big sister Des), but I plan on having her sleep with us in the beginning…either on a mat on the floor next to our bed or in our bed,... more

I have a couple of “deep thinking” type articles related to transracial adoption that I want to tackle, but since I got a “request”, (and it’s on a topic that is a lot more fun to write about) I decided to write about this today. For those of you on Belane overload, I apologize.

Here is the “request"(thanks Jen!)

Here's a post idea for you (and it's Belane related): How do you envision your first few days home with her? Will you schedule doctor appointments and such or will you simply stay at home with her? Do you have things you will do with her to introduce her to the other kids? You get the idea!

One of my dear friends who has adopted even... more