This article is currently on the New York Times website. It is titled “Adopted in China, Seeking Identity in America” and was written by Lynette Clemetson.

The article is written about adoptees from China, but easily applies to any transracially adopted child and family. It focuses on children adopted from China who are now teenagers, and how this first group of current-day adopted children are handling issues of race and culture.

The article states, “As the oldest of the adopted children move through their teenage years, they are beginning — independently and with a mix of enthusiasm... more

In the podcast that I recently wrote about, the speaker makes an analogy of children adopted transracially to the story of the “Ugly Duckling”.

My first reaction was a bit of displeasure at the idea of my children being “ugly ducklings”, but as I listened to her expand her thoughts, I did really like what she had to say and appreciated the idea of using this well-known story to make a point.

Most people know the story of the ugly duckling. It was written by Hans Christian... more

Over on the birth/first parents blog there was a recent post by Maja, called “Sinners or Saints?”

In this post Maja talks about how birth parents are often depicted as either sinners or saints for their decisions and the fact that they made an adoption plan for their child.

I have to say that when I was reading this it made me think that it is often the same for us adoptive parents! I get very tired of both strains of thinking, to be perfectly honest.

I cannot count the times... more

One of the things that has been on my mind the last couple of days is something that was said in the podcast I talked about...

One of the things that was said, is that as big and important as the issues of race, ethnicity and culture are to children and parents in a transracial family, that 95-98% of the time, you are just Mom and Dad, and they are just your kids, and life goes on just like any other family. I know that I have plenty of days that I sort of “forget” that some of my kids are adopted. Not that I really “forget” that, but when I look at them I just see my kids.

Most... more

One of the things that come up a lot when people start talking about adoption is bonding. Will the child bond to you? How are they bonding? How do we help them bond easily? These are all questions that are heard a lot.

From a mom that has been there and done that, I can tell you that one of the best ways to promote bonding, between parents and child and between siblings, is to have fun together as a family.

There are lots of great books on attachment and lots of great tips. Making eye contact, lots of physical contact, limiting caregivers, etc. are all effective.... more

Here is something that I think all transracial families need to embrace. Transracial families are not second best. I believe that with all my heart. I don’t think I could be the best mom that I possibly could for my kids if I was always thinking deep down that I was the “second best” choice for my kids,

Don’t get me wrong. I am not naïve, and I completely understand that in a perfect world, transracial adoption (or any type of adoption) would not exist. I know that in a perfect world, all children would be born to parents that wanted them, loved them and could provide for them. Abuse, neglect, poverty, unplanned pregnancies, drug abuse, illnesses, etc. would not exist and would not... more

I am going to preface this post by saying that I am not a big “celebrity” person and I don’t usually pay much attention to what most of them are doing. I heard about this quote on one of my adoption boards and thought it would make an interesting topic.

In a recent article on the New York Daily News webpage, Michael Douglas (actor) is quoted from a new “GQ” article as saying, “"I don't know about Brad Pitt," says Douglas, "leaving that beautiful woman [Jennifer Aniston] to go hold orphans for Angelina [Jolie]. I mean how long is that going to last?"

Here is a link to the article http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/399197p-338236c.html

How... more

Of all the bits of parenting advice I could give, here is one that I have learned to be essential to all parents.

Trust your motherly (or fatherly!) instincts!!!

We had a situation arise with a doctor this past week that reaffirmed to me how important it is for moms and dads to listen to their “gut”. Listen to that little voice in your head that pops up once and awhile. Listen to your instincts and trust them, even if they don’t necessarily go along with what the “experts” might say.

Whether it is a medical issue, an educational issue, an adoption issue, a discipline issue or any of the other eight million issues that arise in a family, remember to trust in yourself... more

Here is a great post by Debi Stevens on the Older Parent Adoption Blog.

Debi tackles something that I think a lot of people wonder about. Is it ok, or more importantly, who do many people think it is ok, for members of a racial minority to use racial slurs, that are derogatory to that racial minority???

Debi asked for people to speak out, so here are my thoughts on the topic.

We all know and fully understand that if, say for example, a white person were to use “the N word” in regards to a black man, that it would be exceedingly wrong, rude, hurtful, hateful and multiple... more

While I was doing some research online tonight I found an article about a documentary title “Outside Looking In”. The film was made by an African American filmmaker, who was adopted by a white family in the 1970’s, when transracial adoption, especially that of black children to white families, was still fairly rare.

Phil Bertelsen follows his own adoption and life story in the film, as well as several other story lines involving transracial adoption, including a white mid-western couple and the black birthmother they are making an adoption plan with. Through the film, Bertelsen gives a 30-year history on transracial adoption in America.

This article, http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=290,... more