There are quite a few topics under the letter “P” for my Transracial Adoption ABCs. I have already tackled “packing”, and now today I am going to write about “paperwork”.

Paperwork – There is a lot of paperwork involved in adoption. Domestic adoptions typically have less paperwork than international adoptions. Some countries require a lot more paperwork for international... more

In my last post, I wrote about how difficult the waiting can be in adoption. Whether your wait for a referral is long or short, it is sure to be an anxious time. Whether your wait to travel is long or short, it is sure to be very challenging as you wait to be united with your child.

So how do you survive all that waiting?

Here are some tips.

- Remind yourself (frequently) that it will all be worth it once your child is home.

- Read! Read books on attachment and bonding. Read books and articles... more

Adoption is all about “hurry up and wait”. The activity in the adoption process happens in spurts. You hurry and get your homestudy completed, and then you hurry and get your dossier turned in, and then comes the wait for a referral (unless you are adopting a waiting child).

Waiting for a referral is difficult. You have put in tons of time on adoption education and researching your transracial adoption options, you have (hopefully) carefully chosen an agency, you have put lots of time in on the paperwork for the homestudy... more

I have written a lot about how to choose an adoption agency and there is a lot of attention given to the topic of choosing the agency that will process your adoption because choosing the right agency to handle your adoption is essential and vital to your adoption experience.

However I think that discussing how to specifically choose the agency that will do your homestudy, is often overlooked.

I wrote about starting your homestudy in this post, and I wrote about what... more

In my last two posts I have discussed the fear of adoption scams, and a recent article showing how ugly things can be when families put their money and trust into unethical agencies.

Here are some tips to avoid being scammed…

-Research, Research and Research! Look into agencies and programs. Talk to references (those provided by the agencies and those that are not). Join email lists and talk to parents that have used a variety of agencies. Find out why the happy families are happy, and why the dissatisfied or... more

Continued...

Here are some more tips…

-Let the holidays be a distraction…The “wait” in adoption stinks, there are no two ways around it…let the holidays be a pleasant and fun distraction and break from "adoption stress". The time flies during the holidays, and that is a good thing when you are waiting.

-Let yourself have a good cry once and while, but don’t let yourself be “down”. Celebrate with the children you already have (if any), and if not, enjoy your spouse or friends or siblings or parents or whoever else you enjoy in your... more

I have already written about tips for handling the holidays with a newly adopted child, so today I thought I would write a little about handling the holidays while you are still waiting for your child to come home.

We have been in this situation three times, and while it is not one I enjoyed, there are ways to make it a little easier.

For one, you probably should just accept the fact that you are going to be a bit more emotional than usual (if you listen closely you can hear the sound of my husband laughing…). The holidays are an emotional... more

The best way to avoid the type of situations that I mentioned in the last post is for adoptive and perspective adoptive families to ask questions.

Once you determine that an agency is ethical, that is a great starting point. But then you need to determine if the agency is the right fit for you.

First, you need to decide what type of child (what age, gender, level of special needs, etc.) you feel is right for your family, and why.

Then you need to ask question to the agency you are considering. What questions you ask will depend on what unique situations your family has and what type of child you hope to adopt.

Here are some questions to ask that I have found... more

So once you decide that you have found one or more ethical agencies to choose from (and there are many out there), you must then check the agency for “fit”.

Even the best agency is not going to be right for every family. Each agency has their own rules, regulations and practices that they have developed, that they believe are in the best interest of adoption. These vary greatly from agency to agency.

You want to know before you sign on with an agency and have started sending them money, that they will be able to help you adopt the right child for your family.

Here is an example. I know a family that wanted to adopt a baby. They very much want a baby girl. They chose... more

So how do you know if an agency is ethical? Here are some tips.

-Ask for references. Any good agency will willingly provide you with references. Talk to people who have recently completed an adoption, as well as people who completed an adoption some time ago to get “the big picture.”

-Get references beyond what the agency gives you. Join a Yahoo group or message forum appropriate for your adoption program, and inquire about the agency you are considering. Families very happy with their agency will definitely come forth and let you know, and families who were unhappy with their agency choice will come forth just as quickly and let you know that as well.

-When talking... more