Once you start your adoption journey, once of the very first decisions you will have to make is what agency you will choose to do your homestudy. Homestudy regulations and policies vary from state to state, so please use this as a starting point only.

If you are very new to the world of adoption, most people use two agencies in their adoption process, with one being their “homestudy” agency, and one being the “placing” agency. Some people do use the same agency for both, but that is usually people who live in a metropolitan area, near a good choice of placement agencies.

Here is how it works. Your homestudy is basically your permission slip to adopt. You must have a homestudy... more

I have talked a lot in my posts about choosing an adoption program, but have not touched very much on the choosing of an agency. This is perhaps one of the biggest decisions adoptive parents will make during their process, and a choice that can very well define the type of adoption experience they will have. A good agency can make an adoption process as smooth as possible, make the adoptive parents feel confident and secure and handle the bumps in the road, (that often occur in adoption) with professionalism. On the flip side, a less-than-good agency can not only make the adoption process extremely stressful, but can also lead to parents being out large amounts of money and still not have... more

An issue that comes up often with people adopting, especially if the adoption is a transracial one, is the reactions of their extended family. Extended families can disapprove for a variety of reasons and this can be difficult for the adoptive parents to handle.

Common reasons for extended families to disapprove of an adoption are racial issues, concerns over the adoption process/cost, worrying if they will love an adopted child in the family the same as they love the biological children, concerns about birth parents reclaiming children, concerns about the health of an adopted child, thinking the family already has “enough” children, etc.

Many of the concerns that extended... more

If you have ever been a part of an adoption email list, there is little doubt that you have heard woman complain about their “reluctant husbands” in regards to adoption. I have even heard some people give it an official name…one lady announced that her hubby was suffering from R.H.S., Reluctant Husband Syndrome.

And while it does sound really funny, I think it has to be more than just coincidence that in many, if not most adoptions, it is the wife that “knows” before the husband. Now I have heard of a good amount of families where both parents were ready at the same time and both were equally eager to adopt from the get-go, and I have even heard of a few rare cases where the husband... more

I recently got an email from a woman who is contemplating adopting a child of African heritage. While she and her family live in a place that would not be considered very diverse, one of her concerns is what the reactions of the African American people in her community would be if she did adopt a black child. She asked me if we had ever had a negative experience in public with an Asian or African American person who was unhappy that we, as a white couple, had adopted children of a different race.

I thought that this was an interesting concern, and since it is one that I have heard repeated over and over, I thought I would address it on this blog. For one, no, I have never had a negative... more

It seems that most parents who adopt, sooner or later, get questioned by someone about why they adopted the child they did. Why adopt internationally when there are so many children here in the U.S.? Why adopt a child of another race when there are plenty of white kids who need homes? Why a special needs child when there are healthy children who need homes? You get the idea.

So since this is the "Transracial/Transcultural blog” I thought I would do some pondering on the “why adopt a child of another race,” question.

As I have discussed before, the realities are that the overwhelming majority of adoptive parents are Caucasian, and the overwhelming majority of children available... more

If you are considering a transracial adoption, one thing that you need to ask yourself is if you are prepared to be a “highly visible” family. If you are already a transracial family, this is something you are already experiencing.

What do I mean by highly visible? I mean that you stand out from the crowd. Whether you are eating in a restaurant, playing at the park, shopping in the grocery store, attending church, going to the dentist, or any thing else you might do in public with your family, you will be noticed.

Your family will stand out because you are different. And because you are different, you will attract other people’s attention and curiosity. And for some reason,... more

There are lots of great materials out there to hlep you do some self-evaluation and preparation for a transracial or transcultural adoption. Some agencies and states have mandatory education, while others just have recommendations. If you are considering adopting a child of another race, here are some questions you should ask yourself. There are no right or wrong answers, but thinking about these things should leave you feeling that yes, you are prepared and ready to adopt a child of another race, or that you need some more education and preparation, or that maybe it just isn't right for you.

1. What is your lifestyle like? - Are the people in your life mostly white? How much... more