I know that Christmas still feels a way off, but I am here to remind you (sorry) that Halloween is just around the corner, and after Halloween, then Thanksgiving and Christmas are here before you know it. I know that as of today, there are only 70-something shopping days left until Christmas already (how is that for some stress??)

I can proudly say that I have already started my shopping. I haven't gotten much, and with an adoption in the works, there won't be money for too much besides the kids, but I found a wonderful organization and a wonderful gift idea that I... more

While there are things that you can do to try and avoid being in the position to have to turn down a referral, there are still situations that are unexpected.

- Background issues. While all children who are available for adoption will have a significant loss in their history, and many will have very sad stories, some background issues could warrant deciding that a child is not right for your family. Birth family histories of mental illness, a birth mother that consumed alcohol or drugs, or known sexual abuse are all background issues with significant impact on a child and could lead to a family turning... more

When we think about getting a referral, we typically imagine exciting, wonderful moments as we first learn about the child we are going to adopt. Sometimes however, things do not go that way, and sometimes, families end up turning down a referral instead of joyfully accepting it.

Here are a few thoughts on referrals before I go into some of the reasons that a family could possibly turn down a referral. Since turning down a referral is a very difficult position to be in, you should do all that you can do avoid being in that situation.

- You should always know BEFOREHAND what your... more

Getting a referral is one of the "big" moments in your adoption. It is also often a very emotional moment for adoptive parents. Seeing your child's face for the first time can be exciting, joyful, overwhelming and amazing in countless ways, and yet it is also common for adoptive parents to have a variety of other emotions as well.

Here are some common emotions after receiving your referral:

- Sheer joy, excitement, happiness, amazement, etc. Finally seeing your child's face and finally having a child that is assigned to you, makes the adoption very real and can be one of the truly most wonderful... more

While the excitement of waiting to see your child's face for the first time can be extreme, many adoptive parents have found that their referral picture(s) were a bit of a let down. It is hard not to build up the moment in your mind while you are waiting for a referral, dreaming about and imagining what your child's photo is going to look like. But it is important to remember that often times, referral photos are not great pictures.

Usually a person that the child does not know is singling him out from the other children in the orphanage or from his foster family,... more

Receiving a referral is often one of the most exciting and emotional moments of the adoption process.

If you have submitted your paperwork and waited for a referral for a child that meets certain age, gender and/or health criteria, then news of your referral may come after many months of waiting. If you choose to adopt a waiting child after turning in your paperwork, your referral may come very quickly (sometimes almost immediately), and if you have pre-identified a child and then worked like mad to get your paperwork done... more

This week we were finally, officially matched with our Solomon Tsega. I say "finally", but it was less than two months from the day we decided to adopt him and started the process, and in that time we were able to apply to the adoption agency and get all of that paperwork done, apply to a new homestudy agency and get all of that paperwork done, get our new homestudy completed, file and be fingerprinted for our I600A, and complete our dossier for a(nother) Ethiopian adoption.

Our adoption agency, Adoption Advocates International, has been... more

After writing about some of the truths about race and adoption that I have discovered since adopting transracially and, and sharing some of my personal thoughts and beliefs on race and adoption, I wanted to follow it up with some of my "strategies".

I think that in a nutshell, transracial adoptive parents have to walk the line between realism and optimism. Now let me explain.

I think that we have to be realistic. We have to be aware of the ugliness of racism and it's prevalence... more

In my last two posts I shared some of the truths about race and adoption that I have discovered as a transracial adoptive parent.

Today I want to share some more things that I feel to be true in regards to transracial adoption, however many of these are now my own personal thoughts, beliefs, feelings and ways of looking at things.

- Most transracial adoptive parents are aware of racial issues and are no longer turning a blind eye to them. While I could never say "all" transracial adoptive parents are educated and prepared, I do believe that transracial adoptive parents have... more

In my last post I started sharing some of the "truths" I have come to learn regarding race and transracial adoption. Here is the rest of my list. Please feel free to add to it by leaving a comment.

- Our kids are going to grow up. This may seem like a "duh" thing to say, but it's true. It is easy to parent a little black baby. He's cute, and people in the world see him with you and for the most part, people smile (and say dumb things), and think that he is cute. As parents, we are able to protect young children from much of the ugliness that is out there in the world.

However that... more