In my last post I started writing about how many transracial adoptive parents who choose to adopt internationally get questioned by others as to "why" they did not adopt from the U.S. and "take care of their own". Usually these questions about why parents would adopt a child from another country when there are children waiting in the U.S., is full of judgment and negativity.

I know many an international adoptive parent who has been asked this question by family members, friends and total strangers, so today I am going to write about how to answer it.

In my last post I wrote about some... more

One of the many questions and comments that transracial adoptive families who have built their families through international adoption dread the most is, "Why didn't you adopt from the U.S.?" or some variation on that theme.

It seems that most people have a vague knowledge of the fact that there are lots of kids waiting for adoption in the United States, and then many people seem to have the attitude of, "we should take care of our own first", even when they don't really have any idea what is involved in adopting domestically or internationally or why an adoptive family would choose on over the other.

It is true that there are over 100,000 children currently available for adoption... more

Transracial adoptive parents are often looking for great books, dolls, toys, music and art to add to their families' collections.

Today I have a recommendation for two books that I have really been enjoying with my kids.

The first book is called "Children Just Like Me - A unique celebration of children around the world". It was written and photographed by Barnabas and Anabel Kindersley, and was produced in association with UNICEF.

The book is big, and filled with gorgeous photographs. The book features children from... more

In my last post I wrote about getting the hair of my older daughters healthy during their first few years with us, and then making the decision to let them get extensions put in for school this year.

Last Thursday was the day we ventured to the black hair salon. We don't live in an area that has tons of places to choose from (in fact we drove three hours to get to this one, but were going out of town for other things, too). I had called around... more

My two oldest daughters are now 12 and 9. They came to us through a private, domestic adoption at the ages of nine and six. They are African-American, and I knew very little about "doing hair" at that point, because their placement happened very quickly and without much planning (Josh says we forgot to use our adoption "birth control").

I read books, visited websites and talked to other parents, and quickly got the basics down of washing, conditioning, braiding and twisting, and over time added to my collection of "doable hairstyles" and also got quite a bit faster at it.

Caring for my girls' hair at first... more

I have been writing about the challenges that we have faced in navigating a relationship with the birth mother of my two oldest daughters. I have shared a lot about our personal situation, and yet I have left out a lot of details and specifics.

In this post I am going to offer some advice in handling a difficult relationship or situation with your child's birth parents, and I hope it is helpful to some.

If you are in a challenging relationship with your child's birth parent or birth parents, here is some advice.

- Get professional help. Adoption agencies that handle domestic adoptions usually have one or more employees who specialize in handling contact between adoptive... more

I have been writing about our relationship with the birth mother of two of our daughters, and the challenges we have faced in trying to do what is best for our girls.

Continued from this post:

Shortly after I responded to the request I got from "an aunt" of the girls, I got a request through the adoption agency for letters from the girls to their birth mother. At this point the staff at the agency had changed, so the lady that called me had very little knowledge of our adoption situation or what had happened in the past. I talked to her in detail about what had happened and that... more

I have been writing about our domestic adoption of two older girls and the challenges we have had in regards to the relationship we have with their birth mother. I am sharing this story because I am sure that we are not the only domestic adoptive family in a difficult situation, and I hope that maybe our story can be of encouragement, support and help to other families in challenging situations.

In my earlier posts I wrote about how we had high hopes for a positive open relationship with my girls' birth mother and then I wrote about the challenges and struggles that came when it became... more

In my last post, I started writing about the topic of when relationships between adoptive parents and birth parents are challenging.

As I said, my husband and I went into the adoption of our two older daughters with the hope that we would be able to create and maintain an ongoing open relationship with their birth mother. However, fairly shortly after placement it started to become clear that contact between the girls and their birth mother was not going to be in their best interest, because of lying, swearing, verbal abuse, manipulation and other issues. When the professionals involved... more

A lot of the things I write about on this blog are inspired from my own experiences with adopting transracially.

Lately we have been facing a difficult situation with the birth mother of two of our children, and I am sure that we are not the only family in a tough situation, so I thought I would write about it.

Many of us adoptive parents prepare for our domestic adoptions by doing lots of reading, research, etc.

If you read the blogs of birth/first mothers such as Jan, Jenna, Heather... more