This article, titled "When Adoptions Go Wrong", by Newsweek has been making the rounds the past few days.

The article tells the story of an utter adoption nightmare; an adoptive mother killing her child. Peggy Hilt was convicted of second-degree murder after beating to death her two year-old daughter from Russia.

While this article tells their heart-breaking story, it also does a good job showing that there is help available to families struggling with adopted children and that pre-adoption education is essential.

Hilt and her husband had many red flags along the way in their adoption journey. There were several... more

One of the lessons that Josh and I learned the hard way came with our second adoption, little Amanda from Korea.

Amanda came home from Korea at almost two years of age, and she was escorted to us, so the entire family went to pick her up at the airport. Since we live three hours from the airport, we decided to stay a night in a hotel so we could have fun getting to know each other without the long drive.

Amanda came with a bag full of goodies, including bottles and formula. Since the formula and the instructions were in Korean (which I do not read real well), and since we already had milk for Maggie and we figured that since Amanda was almost two she didn't need baby formula... more

As I have been writing about and thinking about "new additions" a lot lately, I thought that I would share some of our experiences and some of the lessons we have learned with bringing home our new additions.

One of the things that Belane taught me early on is that you have to be a parent from day one. While it is important to remember all that these kids are going through and you're definitely going to be more lenient than usual, you also need to establish yourself as the parent, even though it will likely result in your child rebelling.

On day three of having Belane with us we went to lunch. I had a bag of animal crackers to keep her happy while we waited. She was holding... more

I have been writing about "mother hunger" in my last couple of posts, and how newly adopted children often have very intense needs for love, attention and physical contact from their new parents.

I got a comment on one of those posts from a mom who just brought home a new eleven month old and is having struggles with nap time. Here is her question and comment:

We just brought home an 11month little boy from Ethiopia a week ago. This time home has been fraught with ear infections, stomach trouble and sleeplessness. We have tried having him... more

Last week I wrote about some of the things that my kids miss out on because Josh and I have decided to have a large, transracial, adoptive family, and I also wrote about the things that I believe our kids have gained from being a part of a large, transracial, adoptive family.

While I have tried to grow some "thicker skin" over the years, one of the comments that still... more

In my last post I wrote about how newly adopted children often have very intense "mother hunger", or a need to be loved and receive lots of (almost constant) attention from their new mother (and/or father). My dear friend described it as her daughter having a cavern in her heart, that needed to be filled with the love of a mother.

Newly adopted children do have a strong need to be loved, and while each child may display this in different ways, it is usually a challenge for new parents to give... more

One of my dearest friends recently wrote the most beautiful blog post about her six year-old daughter that came home last spring. In that post she wrote about a concept that really stuck with me and really "applies" to children being adopted.

She wrote about her daughter's "mother hunger", and how although her daughter had been loved and cared for, she had this cavern in her heart that was waiting to be filled by a mom. She then went on to talk about her daughter's fierce "hunger" for mom attention once she came home, and how her needs were so "desperate and intense"... more

If you are still considering what to buy for your children this holiday season, another great gift idea is something "cultural". All of our adopted children are very proud of where they are from and love to get things that represent where they were born and/or their birth culture.

There are oodles of websites out there that sell cultural items for internationally adopted children. Here are a few ideas I really like and please feel free to leave a comment with your own suggestion.

Princess Designs -... more

Today I wanted to let you know about a new organization that is working to promote policies and practices in immigration and legislature that will give children who are adopted into American families the same rights and opportunities as children who are born into American families.

EACH stands for Equality for Adopted Children, and they advocate for children by working with Congress, the White House and government agencies. The mission of EACH is to achieve equal treatment between adopted and biological children of American citizens under federal and state laws.

E – Every child is created equal,... more

In my last post I wrote about some of the things my kids "miss out on" because we are a large, transracial adoptive family.

Josh and I try very hard to minimize what our kids have to give up or miss out on and yet it would be naive to think that they were not missing out on anything because of our family size and make up. And yet, I think even more important than what our kids are missing out on, is what they have gained.

Our kids have each other. While they of course bicker at times like any siblings, my kids love each other and are each other's best friends. They are together... more