Receiving a referral is often one of the most exciting and emotional moments of the adoption process.

If you have submitted your paperwork and waited for a referral for a child that meets certain age, gender and/or health criteria, then news of your referral may come after many months of waiting. If you choose to adopt a waiting child after turning in your paperwork, your referral may come very quickly (sometimes almost immediately), and if you have pre-identified a child and then worked like mad to get your paperwork done so you could accept you referral (like us!) then finally signing those papers and making that child officially yours can be a great relief.

The information you receive with your referral can very quite a bit depending on the adoption program you have chosen and the agency you are working with. If you are adopting a child domestically, it is possible to receive a very large amount of information on your child from his time in foster care. Some international adoption programs, such as Korea, may have extensive, detailed information on the children as well, while other international programs may provide very limited information on the child being referred.

In general (and there are always exceptions), parents typically receive at least one photo, some basic blood test results and some general health information and background information. The amount of information varies considerably on the age of the child, the length of time they have been in care and their health situation.

A child who has been in care for a very short period of time will likely have few photos, while a child who has been in care for years can have a whole pile of photos. A child with good health may have very general health information, while a special needs child may have quite a bit of medical information provided. A child who was abandoned may have no background information available at all, while a child who was relinquished can have very detailed background information.

Some people accept their referral right away. Some people feel the need to have their child's information reviewed by an international adoption specialist or their pediatrician before accepting. Some people just need some time to be sure that this child is truly the child they want to adopt.

Accepting a referral is a big step. It is a huge step. It is committing to parenting, caring for and loving a child, and forever making that child a part of your family.

Seeing your child's face for the first time can be a very emotional time. In my next post I will write about the emotions of getting a referral, and I also have a post coming up about turning down a referral.