OK, so a lot of you have sent me emails just dying to know what I was going to pull out of my hat for letters X, Y and Z in my Transracial Adoption ABCs. Let me say that doing all of these posts has not been as easy as I thought it would be. So forgive me, but for the letter "X" I am going to cheat just a wee bit. "X" is for "eXamine your life".

Choosing to become a transracial family is a big deal. It is not a decision to be made quickly or to be taken lightly. While it is easy to say that you could love a child of another race, adopting transracially is not just adding a black (or Asian or Hispanic, etc.) child to your family, it is to make your family a transracial family. Deciding to become a transracial family is choosing to take on racial issues personally. It is to open yourself up to attention in public, including both positive comments and derogative and prying questions and comments.

So before prospective adoptive parents choose to adopt transracially, it is important that they examine their lives. Some of the questions you can ask yourself are:

- Is my life integrated? Do I regularly interact with people of other races, or are all of my family and friends the same race as me? What is the racial makeup of my community? My church? The local school district?

- Am I comfortable around people of different races and cultures? Do I enjoy being around people of other races and cultures? Why or why not?

- If my life is not integrated now, am I willing to work to make it that way?

- Do I have supportive friends and family?

- Am I willing to separate my immediate family from racist extended family members, for the sake of my children, if necessary?

- Am I willing and/or desirous to incorporate another culture into my life and family?

- Do I think race is important?

- Do I see beauty in people who do not look like I do?

- Am I willing and able to deal with prejudice and to teach my children about racism and prejudice?

- Am I prepared to become "walking billboard" for adoption and to deal with comments and questions from those who notice our family is different than many?


I have said many times that I am a supporter of transracial adoption. I believe that love, security, stability, education, medical care, a home and a family are more important for a child to have than merely having a family that "matches". And yet at the same time, choosing to adopt transracially is a big decision, and adoption parents need to truly examine their lives and be sure that they can be committed to doing all that they can to help their adopted child develop a healthy racial self-esteem.

Resources:

Racial Issues related to Transracial Adoption

Transracial Adoption page on Adoption.com