More Transracial Adoption ABCs from the letter "F".

Fears - Prospective transracial adoptive parents often have a lot of fears to contend with. There are fears about the child being adopted... What if he isn't healthy? What if he doesn't bond and attach to our family? Will I be able to do a good job raising a chid of another race?

There are fears about the adoption process...What if we choose the wrong agency? How will we come up with all of that money? What if we lose our money in some sort of adoption scam? What if something goes really wrong? What if the process takes forever? What if we can't figure out all of the forms and paperwork? What if we aren't approved?

If adopting internationally, there are often fears about travel... Will it be difficult to travel internationally? How can we leave our other children at home? What if our plane crashes? How will we communicate? What if we get sick?

There are also fears about what others will think... What will our extended family think? How will our friends react? Will our child be accepted in our church, community, etc.?

As you can see there are many fears that are normal for transracial adoptive parents to have (and these are just some of the more rational ones!!!)

Adoption can be scary, and it can be risky. It involves a large financial investment and an even larger emotional investment. Your trust and hopes and dreams are placed in the hands of an agency (that you have hopefully chosen carefully). It is a leap of faith choosing to adopt...that the process will go well, that the child you adopt will be right for your family and vice verse... that you will have a happy ending.

It is important to know that it is NORMAL to have fears when you are embarking on a huge life change. Think of all the fears some people have (rational and irrational) right before they get married. Think of all the fears (again, rational and irrational!) that expectant moms and dads-to-be often have. All big life changes involve fear...going off to college, dating someone new, starting a new job, buying a home, moving... My own husband near-bout fainted out of sheer panic when we closed on the mortgage for our first house!

My advice would be to examine your fears...see which are rational and which are irrational. Talk to other adoptive parents and see which ones you have in common. Read lots of books, articles and blogs, because the more you know, the more confident you can be. Validate your fears, but remember that just because you have fears and doubts at times, does not mean that your transracial adoption is not the right thing or isn't worth it.

Let us all hear your most irrational adoption fear...leave a comment!!

Finalization- Finalization is the legal term for when the adoption is legally complete, and the child is legally, finally and permanently the child of the adoptive parents. In some adoption programs this occurs in the first country of the child. Any international adoption in which a final adoption decree is issued, is considered final.

In some international adoptions (such as Korea) and in most domestic adoptions, the adoptive parents are granted guardianship first, and then after a certain period of time (often six months), the adoption can be "finalized" in court.

Sometimes in international adoptions, even when a child is fully adopted in their first country, the adoptive parents need to finalize the adoption in their state to acquire citizenship and supporting documents for the child. More information on all of that will be forthcoming in future ABC posts under Immigration, Re-Adoption and Visas.

To get adoption related information specific to your state, you can visit Local Adoption Information on Adoption.com.