Today I have more from the letter “L” in my Transracial Adoption ABCs.

Life Book - A life book is a sort of scrapbook, baby book and journal, that is used to tell the life of an adopted child. Life books are created to help tell a child’s story for the child’s benefit.

A life book usually contains a mixture of text, photos and documents/memorabilia that helps tell about where a child was born, when a child was born, what his life was like, who his birth parents and birth family were (if known), what circumstances led to the child being placed for adoption, major events in the chld's life, the child’s adoption story and other such information.

According to this great article on Adoption.com titled “The Life Story Book”,

A Lifebook can -
provide a chronology of the child's life;
enhance self-esteem and identity formation;
help a child share his history with others;
assist in resolving separation issues;
identify connections between past, present, and future;
facilitate attachment;
increase trust for adults;
help the child recognize and resolve strong emotions related to past life events;
separate reality from fantasy or magical thinking;
identify positives, as well as negatives, about the family of origin.

There is no right or wrong way to make a life book, and each adoptive parent has to decide the best way to tell their child’s story based on the information that is available.

The above-mentioned article shares lots of other benefits of lifebooks, suggestions of information to include and ways to use it with your children, depending on their age.

For a large selection of life books, you can check out this page on Adoptionshop.com.

Loss - Loss is a part of every adoption. The child has lost his birth parents, his first family, his first home and sometimes his first country, language and culture.

The birth parents have lost their child, either because of illness, death or other circumstances. And many adoptive parents come to adoption after suffering the loss of being able to have a biological child.

While it is not important to focus or dwell on the losses involved in adoption, it is very important to recognize them and not ignore them either. For adoptive parents it is essential to not only understand what your child is experiencing and where they are coming from so you can empathize with them and best parent them (and help them grieve), it is also essential to understand the losses their first parents faced as well.

Adoption can be a happy, wonderful and joyous event, but we need to remember that loss is always a big part of the story as well.

On the flip side, as we acknowledge the losses involved with adoption, it is good to remember all that kids gain in adoption, too. Like life in general, adoption is a mix of gains and losses.

Adoption.com has a great list of articles and stories addressing loss and grief in adoption that you can find here.