Today I am up to the letter "N" in my Transracial Adoption ABC posts, and the first topic I am going to discuss is the ever-popular issue of naming your adopted children.

Naming – How to handle naming your adopted child is one of those hot topics that is often starting discussions and heated arguments on adoption email groups and forums. It is one of those topics that does not have a clear-cut right or wrong answer, as naming a child is a very personal decision. However since it is also a topic that many people feel very strongly about, and sometimes even feel sure that their way is the only right way, it can be a controversial topic.

There are three basic schools of thought on naming adopted children.

The first option is to give the child a brand new name, just as you would to a baby that was born to you. Sometimes adoptive parents have had a name chosen for their future child for many years that is important to them to use, and sometimes there is a naming tradition in the family that the adoptive parents want to continue.

I know some adoptive parents that feel that naming a child is a way of claiming that child as their own, and therefore feel it is important to completely rename their child once he is home.

It is also common for adoptive parents to worry that their child’s original name is “too different” or “too difficult” (especially if the child is adopted internationally), and do not want their child so stand out anymore than they already will, and believe that by giving him an “American” name, they are helping their child fit in with his peers.

On the flip side, there are those that believe that orphaned children who are adopted come to their new families with little else than their names. These kids have lost their first homes, families, cultures and all familiarities, and sometimes even their first countries and languages.

With that in mind, some adoptive parents feel strongly in maintaining their child’s original name, and not changing it or adding to it in any way, or simply just adding the new family last name to the end. They feel that their child’s name is an important connection to their culture and an important part of their identity.

Many adoptive parents find a “happy medium”, somewhere in between the two previous lines of thinking. We are one of those families. We have felt the importance of giving a family name or a name of personal importance to each of our children, and yet we have also felt the importance of maintaining their birth names.

With each of our adopted children we have combined part of their birth name with our last name, and either a new first name or middle name. I love my children’s names, and I think that full names now represent their lives, as they have pieces of their first family and life and of their new family and life.

When you are adopting an older child, there are additional things to consider beyond just what is right for the adoptive parents. If the child is old enough, they can have some input on the situation. Some children feel strongly that they want to keep their original name, and some kids love the idea of choosing a new name.


When it comes to deciding how to handle naming your child, you can ask other adoptive parents how they handled it, and you can read blogs, books and articles about the topic, and yet each adoptive parent has to decide what feels right for them and their child.

The name game- Laura or Li Hua?

The Name game

Naming Your Child: International Adoption

*The book pictured above and other great baby name books are available at Adoptionshop.com.