Let’s get back to our Transracial Adoption ABCs. If you are just tuning in to this blog, the Transracial Adoption ABCs are a series of posts that defines, discusses and provides information on common words, terms and issues involved in transracial adoption. You can find the whole series by clicking here.

Today I am still in the letter “O”, and I am going to talk about open adoption.

Open Adoption is when birth parents and adoptive parents share information and have some level of contact. The amount of information shared and the type and amount of contact can vary from only first names being shared and letters and photos being sent through an agency, to all identifying information being shared and having regular contact, including visits.

Open adoption is the opposite of closed adoption, which used to be the norm in domestic adoptions. In closed adoption, no identifying information is shared between birth parents and adoptive parents and there is no contact. Closed adoption leaves birth parents wondering how their children are doing without any reassurance that all is well. Closed adoption also leaves children without any knowledge of their first parents or their history and background.


Open adoption is considered to be, in many cases, the best choice for the children involved, because it removes most of the questions about who they are, who their birth parents are, where they are from, why they were placed for adoption, etc.

For adoptees, having some level of contact with their first parents also removes the issue of “searching” for their birth parents later in life.

While there are many benefits to open adoption, and some level of contact is possible and beneficial in most domestic adoption situations, it is not right for every adoption. The concept of open adoption is a good one, but people are people, and not all birth parents and not all adoptive parents can make it work.

When children are coming from situations involving abuse, neglect, drug use or other challenges, very minimal or no contact may be the best option.

Many adoptive parents may feel uneasy at first at the idea of an open adoption, however, since it often can be the best situation for the child, I encourage adoptive parents to educate themselves, talk to other parents and really explore the issue.

It is also worth noting that while open international adoptions used to be unheard of, in some international adoption programs, adoptive parents are getting the opportunity to meet birth families and sometimes even maintain some ongoing contact.

Ethiopia is one adoption program in which not only are adoptive parents allowed to meet remaining members of their child’s family and sometimes travel to the child’s previous town and home, many agencies are encouraging this contact and facilitating it for the adoptive families.

For us, getting to meet our son’s grandmother and other extended relatives in Ethiopia was a wonderful experience, and we believe that for our son, getting to see us with his grandmother, getting to say good-bye to her again and getting her blessing on his adoption was an amazing blessing that really helped his adjustment into our family. You can read about our trip to visit with Ben’s birth family here, here and here.


In our two domestic adoptions, we were able to have very open situations before placement, and even though our children came from difficult backgrounds which would make ongoing open contact between the children and their birth parents very challenging for the kids, we have been able to maintain some openness between Josh and I and the kids’ birth parents.

My kids will always be able to get answers to their “big questions”, and when they are older, if they want to be in contact with their birth parents, they will not have to search.

Although there are challenges involved with open adoption, when I think about my children that were adopted internationally and have no information whatsoever on their birth parents or early lives, I am grateful that open adoption has become possible and encouraged in many adoption situations.

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