In my last post I wrote about questions that adoptive parents should ask. In this post, I am going to talk about the questions that adoptive parents are going to be asked.

Questions you will get - Early in your adoption process you will have to answer lots of questions. During the homestudy process, your social worker will likely ask you many of the questions that were in my last post. When you choose an adoption agency and choose a program, they will ask you lots of questions regarding the age, race, gender and special needs that you are open to in a child.

You will find that once you start telling people about your plans to adopt, that you are going to get a lot of questions. Family, friends, neighbors and nosy strangers will all "want to know".

- Why aren't you adopting a white baby?

- Why aren't you adopting from the United States? (if you are adopting internationally)

- Why would you adopt from foster care? (if you are doing a foster adopt)

- Aren't you worried that the mom is going to change her mind or take the baby back? (if you are doing a domestic infant adoption)

- Isn't it really expensive to adopt?

- Isn't it going to take a really long time to adopt?

- Aren't you worried that you are going to be scammed?

- Are you trying to be like Angelina?

- What if the child isn't healthy?



Once your child is home with you, and you have become a transracial family, you will find that often you get questions every time you go out the door. It is important for parents to be prepared for these questions so they don't throw you off and you can protect your child. I have written lots on this topic here, but in a nutshell I recommend keeping answers short and sweet, not being afraid to say, "that's a personal question" and always, always, always choosing to say what your child should hear over what the person asking the question wants to know.

- Is that YOUR child?

- Are you his REAL mom?

- Did you adopt him?

- Are they REAL siblings?

- Was he expensive?

- Where did he come from?

- Why did his mother place him for adoption?

- What happened to his real mom?

- You sure have your hands full, don't you? (you will get this one if you have more than three children)

- Why didn't you adopt a white child?


I am sure there are others. Please leave a comment and share questions that you have received!

It is important for adoptive parents to not only prepare themselves for the questions they will receive, but also for you to prepare your children. You can check out this post for tips and info on preparing your children for questions and comments.