Continuing on in the letter "R" in my Transracial Adoption ABCs, I am going to write about "RAD" and "referral".

RAD - RAD stands for Reactive Attachment Disorder. RAD is a condition in which children are unable (or have a very difficult time) forming age-appropriate bonds, attachments and relationships with the people in their lives. RAD is often seen in children who have suffered through neglect and abuse, or who have had multiple changes in care givers in their early years.

Children with RAD can be extremely challenging to parent (and RAD is one of the most common causes of adoptions being disrupted), and the affects of RAD can include feeding issues, developmental delays and other issues.

It can be very difficult to predict if a child will or will not suffer from RAD or other attachment challenges, because most children that are adopted have had inconsistent nurturing and care-giving in their lives. Why some children emerge from a specific situation with RAD and others emerge with the ability to form healthy attachments is unknown.

While most children who are adopted come to their families, experience "normal" attachment and adjustment issues and are able to form healthy attachments and relationships with their new families, RAD is something that all adoptive parents should educate themselves on.

Adoptive parents should have a basic understanding of what RAD is and what the risk factors are.

For lots of great information and resources on RAD, you can visit Nancy at the Reactive Attachment Disorder blog.

Referral- In adoption language, your "referral" is the child that is assigned to you for adoption. "Getting your referral" is when that much-anticipated day comes and the adoption agency informs you that they have a child for you.

The wait for a referral varies greatly. Some adoption programs have referral waits up to two years for parents requesting a young, healthy baby and in other programs, referrals can be immediate once the paperwork is completed. How long you will wait for a referral depends on what type of child you are hoping to adopt. In general, you will wait longer for a girl than a boy, and the younger a child you want to adopt, the longer you will wait. Parents open to special needs children usually get a referral much more quickly.

When you receive a referral, the amount of information you receive will vary, depending on the agency and program you are using. Typically you will at least get a basic history of the child (although if the child was abandoned this can be very limited information), a general health history including tests for at least HIV and Hepatitis B, and a short summary of the child's personality and development.

Parents generally receive at least one photograph with their referral, and sometimes they get several photos and even video footage of the child. Again, this depends on the agency and the program.

Many parents have their referral information reviewed by an international adoption doctor specialist before accepting it, for peace of mind.

After months of forms, checks and paperwork, receiving a referral is the moment most adoptive parents wait for. It is often the first time that adoption becomes really "real" to the parents, as once there is a referral, there is a real child to love and prepare for.

Resources:
Ask the Adoption Doctor

Surviving "The Wait"