School, and how to handle school with a newly adopted older child is a topic that comes up frequently on email groups and adoption forums. So today, under the letter "S" in my Transracial Adoption ABCs, I am going to write about school.

School - Choosing how to educate your children is a very personal decision. There are parents who find success in quality public schools, there are parents who choose great private schools and there are parents who find homeschooling to be the perfect way to educate their children.

When dealing with a child that was adopted, deciding which kind of schooling is best can be complicated.

If a child was adopted as an infant or toddler, than most likely making their education choices will not be much different than it would be for any other child, unless the child has some special needs that would affect their education.

However when children are adopted at older ages, there is a lot to consider before making education choices.

Here are some things to consider:

Is the child very delayed or behind same-aged peers academically? For children adopted internationally, they may have never attended school before, or may have only received very basic schooling, so they are likely to be behind their same-age peers academically. While many children do catch up quickly, malnutrition, trauma and other factors can cause learning delays, which make it more difficult for a child to easily "catch up" in school.

Children adopted domestically can also be very behind in school. Chaotic lives, poor parenting, lots of moving around, abuse, neglect and other factors that are common in older children who are adopted domestically all could lead to a child struggling in school.

Putting a child into public school who is very behind his peers could be very frustrating for that child, and sometimes public schools are not able to give the individual time and attention that would be needed to help that child reach his full potential.

Is the child socially very immature? Many children, (especially ones adopted internationally) act much younger than their same-aged peers. This usually has much to do with culture and lack of experiences.

For a child that is 12 but acts more like seven, putting him into seventh grade could be very challenging and frustrating for him.

Does the child need special services? If a child has diagnosed learning disabilities or delays or is in need of ESL or other services available through public school, then public school may be the way to go.

While there are many poor public school systems, there are also some excellent public schools, and public school can be a wonderful (and free) way to get your child some of the services he needs.

Bonding - What about bonding? For a child that was just adopted at an older age, sending them off to school for eight hours a day could make bonding very difficult. Many children need time with their new parents and in their new homes to get settled before they are ready to be gone for long periods of time.

Homeschooling can not only help parents tailor to their child's education needs, but can also provide lots of time for bonding.

On the flip side, I know many parents that have planned on homeschooling, and found that challenging attachment issues made homeschooling very difficult and frustrating for parent and child. Some parents found that sending the child to school took some pressure and stress off of the relationship and helped bonding.

What do the kids want? While kids certainly should not have all of the decision-making power in regards to their education, it is good to get a feel of what they want, too. Some kids really want to homeschool, and feel safer and more at ease at home, learning at their own pace with their parent.

Other kids really want to "go to school". In many countries an education is a privilege and a wonderful opportunity and not something available to every child. So to children who lived part of their lives wanting to go to school and hearing how important it is to go to school, they may very much want to go to a traditional school setting.

Some kids who have lived in orphanage settings get very nervous being around large crowds of children, and others miss being around lots of other kids.

Of course the parent's job, time, money and resources also play a big factor. Homeschooling is a large time commitment and one that not all parents are able to make. The availability of quality public or private schools is also an important factor. Some people are lucky to live in areas with excellent public schools, and for some, the local public schools do not meet the standards of the parents.

Clearly there is not going to be one right decision for every family. Each child is going to come home with different strengths, weaknesses, needs and desires, and each parent is going to have to carefully examine and choose the best way to help their child reach their maximum potential in school.

No matter what path parents choose, they are going to have to be strong advocates for their children and be willing to be flexible with their plans to best suit the needs of the kids.

We are lucky enough to live in an area with top-notch public schools, that encourage parents to be very active in the schools and in their children's education. Our older adopted children have all done very well in our public school and have gotten the services that they need, along with lots of support from home.

At this point all of my kids want to "go to school" and are doing well, so that is what we are doing, however, if we were to have a child that wanted to be homeschooled or if one of our children started to struggle and not have their needs met in public school, I would absolutely choose to homeschool that child.

More reading on school and adoption:

Marie over on the Christian Adoption Blog has been doing lots of great posts on schooling adopted children.

Schooling and Adoption

Schooling and Adoption Part Two