When many people think about adoption, they picture prospective adoptive parents lined up a mile long, waiting for the next available "healthy, as young as possible" infant through whatever adoption program that they have chosen.

Many first-time adoptive parents feel that since it is their first adoption, and they do not have a lot of experience, that they could only "handle" a healthy infant.

We've been there and we've done that. Six years ago when we were in the middle of our first adoption, we had three young, healthy sons. We wanted a daughter. We were sure we could only handle a healthy child. We knew we wanted a baby as young as possible.

Somewhere in between that baby's homecoming and our next adoption, something inside of my heart and mind changed. To be honest, during our first adoption I never even put much thought into "special needs." When I filled out the forms for our agency I got to the part where is asked, "are you open to special needs?" and I checked "no" without giving it much thought.

When you are pregnant, all you want is a healthy baby. You hear it over and over....people "just" wanting a healthy baby. So I wasn't quite sure why when it came to adoption that anyone would CHOOSE a baby that wasn't "healthy".

And then I saw a picture of Mee Yeon, a special needs toddler in Korea. Her laundry list of "special needs" didn't seem to matter to me as much as her gorgeous eyes and impish smile. This was a little girl that truly needed a home and a family. With a little bit of prayer and a little bit of research, we jumped feet first into our first "special needs" adoption.

Of the millions and millions of orphans in the world, many are "special needs". These special needs can range from physical deformities, (like a cleft lip/palate, a club foot, etc.) to infectious diseases (such as HIV and Hepatitis) to conditions such as cerebral palsy and hydrocephalus. There are kids labeled as special needs because of something as minor as a missing finger or a low birth weight, and there are children who will need life-long care. Sometimes healthy children are labeled "special needs" because of risk factors regarding their parents' health or their birth.

There are many benefits to adopting special needs children. For one, there is usually very little wait at all for a referral, since these kids are already waiting to be chosen by a family. Another plus is that many agencies and programs will lower their fees for special needs children. Another benefit is that you often get detailed medical information (although this is not always the case) and "know what you are getting". It is important to note that even if you choose a "healthy child", there are no guarantees. Our highest needs child turned out to be the "healthy newborn" that we adopted domestically.

My heart is with the special needs children. I am dedicated to advocating for the kids who wait, because they are labeled as less than perfect. For us, the joys of parenting our "special needs kids" have been no less than the joys of parenting our other kids. Our "special needs kids" are just as perfect and just as wonderful as the others. And while back six years ago I never would have even guessed that someday we would choose to adopt a child that is HIV+, I am grateful that we expanded our ideas on what constitutes a perfect child.

If you are considering a special needs adoption, my advice would be to search photolistings for waiting children, speak to reputable agencies about children they have waiting, and then as always, do your research. Get a feel for what special needs you can and can't handle, and remember that what seems "no big deal" to one family seems overwhelming to another, and vice versa.

While medical websites are good, talking to experienced parents is often the best way to really get an idea of what to expect on a day to day basis.

Another area you should put some research into for any adoption, but especially for a special needs child, is your insurance coverage. If you have insurance through work and are part of a "group" policy, then federal legislature mandates that adopted children are covered the same as newborn babies, meaning that all preexisting conditions are covered in full from the date of placement or adoption. If you have private insurance, then the way that they handle adoptions can vary and you should find out exactly what will and will not be covered.

While many people do not automatically think about adopting a special needs child when they are first setting out, many families find their perfect child through special needs adoption.

Resources:

Rainbowkids and Special Needs Adoption

Considering Special Needs Adoption

HIV+ Children Can Be Adopted