Everybody needs support. There are support groups for all ages and stages of life and for all sorts of special situations. For many people, connecting with others who are going through what you are going through, or who have already experienced what you are experiencing and therefor truly understand, are invaluable.

Adoptive parents are no exception. Many adoptive parents find that while their extended family and their friends and coworkers may be excited about the adoption, that they often just "don't get it". And of course then there are plenty of times when family, friends and coworkers aren't excited about the adoption. In those situations, finding support is even more important.

Even adoptive parents who are surrounded by supportive people in their lives can benefit from the support of other adoptive parents. While people may understand that it is "hard" to wait for a referral or for your child to get home, only another adoptive parent, who has been in love with a child in the other side of the earth and has had to wait to be able to hold and care for that child, knows what it is like.

Friends and family may really share in your excitement when you are jumping up and down about getting your I171H in the mail, but only another adoptive parent really knows how good it feels to have that precious piece of paper in your hands.

The homestudy process, the dossier gathering, waiting for a referral, getting a referral, waiting to travel and all the emotions involved with your child's homecoming are all really unique experiences, and there is something special about getting to share them and discuss them with other adoptive families.

Once your child is home, the need for support from other adoptive parents can be even greater. Most people who haven't adopted do not really understand issues regarding attachment and bonding, and why adoptive parents may need to do things like not let anyone else hold or feed the child for awhile.

Post-adoption depression is something that some adoptive parents experience, and since it is not something that is frequently acknowledged like post-partum depression, having the support of other experienced parents is essential.

Other adoptive parents can also be invaluable in helping answer your hair and skin care questions, offering advice on handling rude comments and questions and handling a variety of challenges.

Sometimes for me it is nice just to talk to someone who understands where I am coming from. When I am chatting with other adoptive parents I don't have to explain why we chose to adopt, why we chose to adopt transracially, etc., because they understand.

The need and want for support from other adoptive parents is apparent in the high number of adoption email groups, forums, blogs, etc., where adoptive parents from all over the world come together to ask questions, share joys, vent frustrations, relay their experiences and offer advice. Families who live in areas with lots of other adoptive parents often have local groups that get together regularly.

If you are looking for a support group, a great place to start is with your homestudy agency and/or with your adoption placement agency. The adoption agencies can usually steer you in the right direction to find local adoption groups in your area, and groups specifically for families adopting through the same program. Many agencies also offer agency email groups, where parents can connect.

I can honestly say that some of my closest friends are people that I have yet to meet in person, however through emails, phone calls and mutual support, have been huge blessing to me during and after our adoptions.

Here are some resources for online support for adoptive parents:

Adoption.com Forums


Yahoo Groups (search for specific adoption groups by country, special need, etc.)

Adoptionblogs.com