Continuing on in the letter "T" in my Transracial Adoption ABCs, today I am going to write about teenagers.

Teenagers - Teenagers are an age group that is often overlooked in the adoption world. It seems just about everyone wants a baby. Toddlers are often fairly easy to place as well. Our son, at the ripe old age of five, was considered to be an "older child" with the agency we used to adopt him from Ethiopia.

Teenagers are often challenging to parent, even when they are your biological children and have spent their entire lives with you, even when they haven't faced great loss and even when they haven't had major upheaval in their lives, so it is easy to understand why adoptive parents have concerns over adopting teenagers.

These are kids that are already almost through the "kid" phase. These are kids that don't have a long period of time before they will leave home. These are kids that have already lived a piece of their lives, and have values, morals, likes, dislikes, fears, anxieties, habits, beliefs and life experiences that have shaped who they are. These are kids who have loved and who have experienced loss.

So when you stop and think about it, it is not hard to see why adopting teenagers is not very common, and why it is often very challenging. And yet there is a huge need for adoptive families for teenagers, both in the United States foster care system (where an overwhelming percentage of the available children are older children and teenagers) and in many other countries.

Some families who adopt teenagers find that they never do build the same bonds with those children as the ones that were born to them or the ones that they adopted at younger ages. Some families find that there are long-term attachment issues. But some families find that the teenagers that they adopt truly wanted to belong to a family again, and find that they bond and attach well.

There are also many benefits to adopting teenagers. With teenagers you do not need to worry about diapers, bottles or sleeping through the night. For working parents, a teenager could be ideal because there is no need for daycare or babysitters. For older parents, a teenager could be a better fit in their lives than a young child.

I think back to when I was a teenager, and remember how big and scary a lot of things seemed, and I had a loving, caring and supportive family behind me. I can't imagine what it would be like to be a teenager that is aging out of the foster system and facing the prospect of going off into life alone, without a family.

Even worse, I can't imagine what it would be like to be a teenager that is aging out of an orphanage in Asia, Africa, Haiti or anywhere else. The options for these kids are so minimal, and the threats of exploitation are extremely real and high.

Adopting a teenager is not right for everyone, but I do know many families who have been blessed by adopting older children and teenagers. If you feel that you are up to the challenges, you may find that the rewards are great.

More information on adopting teenagers:

Teenagers Anybody? Teenagers need adoptive families

Older Child Adoption Blog

Older Child Adoption