Happiness and joy, grief and sadness, and stress and frustration are only a few of the emotions that have been known to strike unexpecting adoptive parents with great force, and then disappear as quickly as they came, only to be replaced with another, equally powerful emotion.

Some of the less pleasant emotions that are often experienced by adoptive parents are those of anxiety and worry.

The waiting game that adoptive parents are forced to play while waiting to be united with their child provides the perfect opportunity for parents to find things to worry and feel anxious about.

On one hand, it is very common for adoptive parents to worry about their child. I always tell people that haven't adopted, that you can not imagine how difficult it is to love a child as your own, and to have that child not be with you (and sometimes even having that child be on the other side of the earth). Knowing that your child is in less than ideal conditions (such as an orphanage or foster home), provides lots to worry about.

Adoptive parents worry if their child is being fed enough, if he is sick, if he is getting enough attention, if he is getting enough stimulation, if his needs are being met quickly, if someone is soothing him when he cries, etc.

For parents adopting a special needs child, there is often additional worry about their child's health and well-being.

The wise adoptive parent puts a lot of thought into the huge changes that are going to occur in their child's life when the adoption takes place. When you stop and think about how much your child's life is going to be turned upside down, and all of the things that may be scary or uncomfortable for him, it is logical to worry about how all of it will affect him.

Beyond worrying about your child before you are together, it is also normal for adoptive parents to be worried and anxious about what life with their new child will be like. Will he attach to us? Will he sleep? Will he eat? Will he throw horrible tantrums? Will I love him? Will he love me? Am I cut out to be a parent? Am I prepared enough to be a transracial adoptive parent?

These sorts of worries are not only normal for adoptive parents, but for all parents about to add a child to their family.

There are also anxieties that are specific to parents building a family through adoption. Many families have anxiety about how they are going to afford to pay for the adoption. Some people adopting internationally have fears about traveling. Parents adopting domestically are often very anxious that the adoption plan will fall through.

Anxiety and worry are very common throughout the adoption process. I have found that doing something, like reading a book or packing a suitcase or even cleaning a closet, can help a lot when I am worrying or feeling anxious.

What sort of things did you worry about during your adoption? How did you handle it? Leave a comment. :)





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