In my last post, I went into detail about some of the reasons that your first meeting with your new child and your first days together can turn out to be less than perfect. Here are some tips on how to best prepare yourself emotionally for the unpredictable but yet miraculous event of meeting your child.

- Prepare yourself for the possibility that your first few moments, hours and days with your new child could be wonderful and magical, but could also be challenging and not as you plan or hope. Do not build up your expectations too high and do not put too much pressure on yourself or your child for everything to be perfect right away.

- Understand that your child may not understand that you are his new mom or dad, and that you very well may appear as just any old stranger. Young kids are often scared or nervous around new people. Even if your child is old enough to understand who you are and why you are there, understand that they still may be nervous and may not be ready to embrace you right away. Be understanding that it may take some time for your child to feel comfortable with you.

- Be prepared for illnesses and ickies. Use a good packing list, consult your pediatrician, and come prepared for as many minor illneses and ickies as you can. Lice are a pain in the neck, but if you come prepared to treat them, they are much less of an issue than if you have to carry your child around for a week and then bring them home with lice. Ear infections are always a challenge, but if you can treat your child with an antibiotic before you have to travel home, life will be a lot more pleasant for all involved. Parents need to be prepared, and doing so will greatly reduce your stress level.

- Take care of yourself. Be careful with what you eat and drink, especially if you are traveling internationally. Take vitamins and stay hydrated. If you are in good health, you will be in emotionally better condition to handle challenges in a positive way.

- Sleep! If you go into your adoption meeting physically exhausted, it will be a lot easier to become emotionally exhausted. Try to sleep as much as you can before you are united with your child.

- Keep a journal. Oftentimes just letting your feelings out helps make you feel better. Those early days often end up as a blur, so it is great to have the small details written down. Plus, when times are challenging later you will be able to look back and see how far you have come.

- Repeat to yourself that tried and true parent mantra, "This too shall pass."


In my next posts I will write about some of the emotions that are typical during the first few weeks and months home with your new child.

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