(Please remember that this is just a piece of my definition of adoption. For my full definition of what adoption is, you can read this whole series of posts here.)

As I have been working to define adoption, it has become clear that adoption is a lot of things. Sometimes the things that "adoption is" are even contradictory. For example it true that "adoption is love" and yet it is also true that "adoption is a business".

Adoption is complicated. It is complex. There are lots of areas that are not "black" or "white", but instead are somewhere in the proverbial "gray area".

If you spend time researching adoption you will quickly see how complicated it is. There are websites advertising adoption and there are websites bashing adoption. You will find people who dedicate their lives to promoting adoption, and you will find people who dedicate their lives to working against adoption.


There are all sorts of forums and email groups where adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents debate twelve million issues related to adoption.

There are complicated rules and regulations that strive to protect children and yet sometimes fall very short.

There are countless ethical issues to consider. If you are going to adopt, there are many big decisions to be made. Are you going to adopt domestically or internationally? Will you consider an open adoption? What age child do you want to adopt? Are you willing to consider a child with special needs? Are you open to transracial adoption? How on earth are you going to pay for an adoption? What agency will you use? What adoption program is right? And on and on and on...

When you decide to adopt transracially, you are adding many complex racial issues to the mix. Culture, race, prejudice, white-privilege and many other issues become very real (and are on their own very complex) for transracial adoptive parents.

And like with most things, how your life has been affected by adoption with affect how you feel about adoption. If you are a birth mother who was coerced into giving up a baby you will certainly have much different feelings and beliefs in regard to adoption compared to if you are an adoptive parent who has gotten the child of your dreams through adoption. Both sets of feelings would be legitimate and real.

Adoptees can have very complicated emotions related to adoption as well, depending on their adoption circumstances and their experiences growing up.

There is good in adoption and bad in adoption. There are issues, decisions and feelings that are neither "right" or "wrong", but are all very complex.

Adoption is complicated.

*If you have not yet participated, make sure you visit this post and enter the fun giveaway for National Adoption Month thanks to Curls.