(Please remember that this is just a piece of my definition of adoption. For my full definition of what adoption is, you can read this whole series of posts here.)


Adoption is hope. It is hope for a better future and a better life for a child.

We often hear about how loss is a big part of adoption. It is true that any child available for adoption has experienced loss. He has been separated from his birth mother and family. He has lost his first home. In international adoption, the child has lost his country and culture of birth. Children from foster care (and children adopted internationally) have often been in multiple homes and placements. Many kids have lost their sense of security and their trust that adults can and will keep them safe. Many have lost the feelings of being loved and how to love. Some children available for adoption have been abused. Some have been through traumatic experiences. Some have seen those they love die. Some have been neglected.

Adoption is not what causes all of that loss. Adoption is what comes next. Adoption is hope.

My Maggie was left in a hospital in Vietnam, without so much as a name to identify her. She was truly all alone in the world.

My Amanda was left in a hospital in Korea, put into foster care and labeled with a laundry list of diagnoses. She was on the brink of being determined "unadoptable" and institutionalized for the rest of her childhood.

My Marcus was born (with significant medical needs) to a young family who was struggling in many ways. There was substance abuse going on. There was significant poverty. Children already in the home were being neglected.

My Mercy and Des spent years in a home where they were neglected and abused, both verbally and physically, in a family trapped in a cycle of abuse, teen pregnancy and poverty.

My Benjamin was born into a loving family, where he knew love and security, and then witnessed the death of both of his beloved parents at five years old. With the significant poverty in Ethiopia, no one else was able to care for him.

My Belane was born to parents who were HIV+, and she herself was born infected with the deadly disease. Her parents died shortly after her birth.

My Solomon was found alone in a huge city, with a crucifix and picture of Jesus around his neck, and his little body very sick and infected with HIV/AIDS.

What would have happened to any of my kids, if it hadn't been for adoption? What would their lives and futures have entailed?

We did not set out to rescue children. We chose to adopt because we truly wanted more children. We do not see ourselves as "saviors" in any way, and in fact I know in my heart it is true when I say that my children have blessed my life many times over, and that I am truly the "lucky one" as a result of our adoptions.

And yet I cannot honestly look at our children and not see that adoption was hope for them. Their losses were significant and should never be minimized, and yet as tragic as their early lives were, never again having the love of a family would have been just as tragic. Adoption changed the course of their lives. It was hope for love and family. It was hope for safety, security, education, good health and medical care. It was hope for someone to belong to, somewhere to call home and a life in which they were not alone.

Adoption is hope.

**I am editing this to leave this link. It is the story of a little girl who didn't have the hope of being adopted. This story rips my heart out, as Tracey's experience is so similar to my experience meeting Belane, and yet our outcomes were so very different.

*If you have not yet participated, make sure you visit this post and enter the fun giveaway for National Adoption Month thanks to Curls.