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So far in my definition of adoption I have said that adoption is life changing, adoption is hope, adoption is expensive and adoption is a business. All of these are pieces of my own personal definition of adoption, which I am going to continue to build on throughout November for National Adoption Month. I hope that you are taking some extra time this month to think about what adoption means to you.
One of the very first things that pops into my head when I think about adoption is that adoption is love. It is also proof that loves doesn’t give a hoot about blood, DNA, skin color or even language.
I have never been a birth parent, but I have built relationships with birth parents and birth family members of several of my children, and in all cases, choosing adoption for their children was an act of love. In all cases, the birth families were not in a position to raise a(nother) child, and even though all of their circumstances were quite different, adoption was for all of them an opportunity to provide for their children and to show their unselfish love for those children.
As an adoptive parent, adoption is all about love. At first the love is just a sparkle in my heart, as we first start to consider adopting another child. As we dive into the paperwork and commit to adding to our family, that love continues to steadily grow for a child I have not yet met. As we are matched with a child and we see pictures and learn specific details about the child that is going to become ours, that love grows and grows.
During the wait, there is times where the love for that child (who is not yet with you) becomes overwhelming and consuming, and occasionally even heart breaking.
And finally, when that child is forever in our arms, that love runs over as I can finally hold him, kiss him, rock him, feed him and care for him in all the ways I have been dreaming about.
While it can take time for love to build between parents and child and it takes time for that love to be bolstered up by familiarity, trust and true attachment, it is a wonderful, magical love that develops.
I look at my family and adoption has brought so much love into it. Each child has brought a unique and wonderful love to our family, which has then multiplied between all of the family relationships. We have built relationships with birth families and other adoptive families that have brought love to us as well.
And most importantly, adoption is about love for children. I look at my kids and when they first came to us, some of them had forgotten (or never knew) what it was like to be truly loved. They were frightened, insecure and untrusting. They didn’t sleep well or eat well. They rarely relaxed.
It is amazing to watch the transformation in a child as he realizes he is loved and becomes confident in that love. I have watched before my eyes as kids have become outgoing, social, happy, secure, confident, loving, trusting and thriving in every way.
It is wonderful to watch love transform a child, and that, should be what adoption is truly about.
*If you have not yet participated, make sure you visit this post and enter the fun giveaway for National Adoption Month thanks to Curls.
*Picture from Liquid Library
