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(Please remember that this is just a piece of my definition of adoption. For my full definition of what adoption is, you can read this whole series of posts here.)
When people think of risky behavior, they tend to think of things like sky-diving, bank robbing and running with the bulls. While it may not make it to the top of any “risky” lists, adoption is fairly risky.
For adoptive parents, adoption is emotionally risky. You are putting your hopes and dreams into a process that is controlled by other people. There are many possibilities for things to go wrong or for plans to change, all of which can be very emotionally difficult.
During our adoptions we have had referrals fall through and have fallen in love with children who we were not able to move forward to adopt for one reason or another. I know people who have committed to a child that has died before coming home, or has been reclaimed by his birth family. These things happen, and adoptive parents have to be willing to open themselves up to the risk of heart ache and disappointment.
Adoption is also financially risky. It costs a lot of money to adopt, and I can’t tell you how many sad stories I have heard of families being lured in by an unscrupulous agency and losing not only the child they hoped for, but a great deal of money as well. While some risks of adoption are unavoidable, adoptive parents can minimize their financial risks by doing their research and choosing an adoption agency very carefully.
Adoption is also risky in the sense that adopting a child is not like ordering a sweater from a catalog. While you can fill out the “desired child” form and check off that you want a healthy baby as young as possible, it is important to remember that children available for adoption are coming from less than ideal conditions. Sometimes they have suffered abuse and neglect. Sometimes they have suffered malnutrition. Sometimes they have undiagnosed illnesses and conditions.
Adoptive parents have to willing to accept the fact that just like when you give birth to a baby, there are no guarantees on health or anything else when you adopt a child.
While we knowingly adopted several special needs children, it was our Marcus, who was expected to be “a healthy newborn” through a domestic adoption, who ended up with significant and very challenging health issues.
You also never know how well a child will or will not attach to his new family. While there are definitely risk factors and indicators that suggest a child may have a more difficult time with attachment, you don’t know until your child gets home if he is going to know fit right in and adjust and attach quickly and easily or if things are going to be much more challenging.
As you can see, there are quite a few risks involved with choosing to adopt for adoptive parents, and yet as with most things in life, often the greatest rewards in life come from being willing to take some risks.
The Risks of Domestic Adoption
The Risks of International Transracial Adoption
How to minimize risks in international adoption
How to minimize risks in domestic infant transracial adoption
*If you have not yet participated, make sure you visit this post and enter the fun giveaway for National Adoption Month thanks to Curls.
*Picture from Liquid Library
