Here is a great post by Debi Stevens on the Older Parent Adoption Blog.

Debi tackles something that I think a lot of people wonder about. Is it ok, or more importantly, who do many people think it is ok, for members of a racial minority to use racial slurs, that are derogatory to that racial minority???

Debi asked for people to speak out, so here are my thoughts on the topic.

We all know and fully understand that if, say for example, a white person were to use “the N word” in regards to a black man, that it would be exceedingly wrong, rude, hurtful, hateful and multiple other adjectives. But, I think many of us have heard a black man refer to another black man using “the N word” and it was ok by both of them.

I have to say, that on some level I understand that by being the same race, when one African American uses a racial slur to another AA man or one Chinese American uses a racial slur towards another ethnically Chinese man, that there is a shared brotherhood, that somehow makes it “un-insulting”. It also seems that a lot of ethnic minorities feel entitled to use the derogatory epithets that have been slung at people of their race by those believing that they were superior. I can even see how doing so might be somewhat empowering.

And yet, in my mind, if something is wrong, it is wrong, no matter who is saying it. A swear word is a swear word, a slur is a slur and an epithet is an epithet. I think our world would be a whole lot better off if the words “nigger” and “chink” and so many others just didn’t exist anymore, and the only way to get a word to disappear is to get people to stop using it, period. And that means all people.


So for me, if I ever hear one of my children using an epithet, we will discuss why those words are hurtful and hateful and wrong to use, even if it is one that is aimed at their culture. I want my children to be proud of who they are and respect their culture, and speak in a way that reflects that.