This article, titled "When Adoptions Go Wrong", by Newsweek has been making the rounds the past few days.

The article tells the story of an utter adoption nightmare; an adoptive mother killing her child. Peggy Hilt was convicted of second-degree murder after beating to death her two year-old daughter from Russia.

While this article tells their heart-breaking story, it also does a good job showing that there is help available to families struggling with adopted children and that pre-adoption education is essential.

Hilt and her husband had many red flags along the way in their adoption journey. There were several ethical questions in the way that their case was handled in Russia. They had only one, very limited visit with the girl they adopted before signing the paperwork, even though they were supposed to have multiple visits. Despite the red flags and unanswered questions, the Hilts brought home little Nina from Russia.

While many children have challenging adjustments into their new families, Nina's behavior was challenging and continued without improvement. As her mother got increasingly depressed and agitated with Nina, instead of seeking help, she turned to alcohol and eventually the situation escalated with Hilt beating the child so severely that she died the next day.

I was shocked to read that since the early 1990's it has been documented that 14 children adopted from Russia have been killed by their adoptive American parents.

The lesson to be learned by this awful story is how important it is for adoptive parents to:

- Be educated going in to their adoptions. Parents should know what sorts of behaviors are normal in newly adopted children. They should know what sorts of behaviors are "red flags". They should know as much as possible about their child's past so they can be prepared for what attachment issues he may have. They should know what resources are available and where they can turn if they run into trouble and they should have this information ready before their child comes home. Here is a list of "warning signs" from the article.

- Remember that seeking help for yourself and your child is not admitting to failure, it is showing your commitment to doing what is best for your family.

- Never hide a difficult situation with a child, especially from your spouse. If you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed and/or anger towards a child, you must tell someone.

Like most cases of child abuse and murder of a child by a parent (adoptive or not) this story was totally preventable if the family had asked for help.

Peggy Hilt wishes she'd heard this message years ago. "If I knew then what I know now," she says, "I would have gotten help for Nina and for me." The best she can hope for now, she says, is that her story will prompt others to seek that help before it's too late.