I said I was going to write about the blessings and the “good things” about transracial adoption, and I was planning on it and looking forward to it, but today there is another topic that I feel I should not skip over, and need to write about today.

I was not going to write about the horrible tragedy that occurred at Virginia Tech, because while it was a terrible national tragedy, it was not really relevant to transracial adoption in any way that I could see at first.

However, over the past few days, as the media has attacked this story from every angle and the stories, pictures and video are everywhere you turn, the coverage has started to have a negative effect on some transracial adoptees.

Since the media is constantly reminding us that the shooter at Virginia Tech was Korean, some Korean adoptees are having a difficult time, and are feeling shame for being Korean, like the shooter, and are identifying with him on some level.

The response and reactions from adoptees has been so significant that today, Rainbowkids.com has put out a special article about how the Virginia Tech massacre is affecting Asian adoptees, and a download for parents titled “Ten Tips to Use When Talking to Asian Children” (in regards to the shooting).

Here is a quote from the article...

Cheryl Palmer wrote in with this comment, "I was in shock myself when we heard the news. My daughter is only ten years old and we adopted her when she was just an infant. She's always been extremely proud of her heritage all of her life."

She learned from another student at school that the shooter was, like me, mom, Korean.

"For the first time since Lacey became our daughter, I felt completely helpless. No matter what I say, I don't understand her feelings because I am not Asian. I can again and again tell my daughter this has nothing to do with her, but her pain is very real."

I know that when I read a story about something bad an adoptive parent did, or something bad that the parent of a large family did, I do identify with it in some way and feel badly. It is very easy for me to see how after hearing over and over that this man that did this horrible thing (and hearing him described as disturbed, evil, etc.) was Korean, that Korean and other Asian children could easily feel shame about this terrible incident.

If you have Asian children, I recommend you check out the above resources and follow the tips on discussing this topic with your children.

Other bloggers have also been discussing the Virginia Tech massacre and the effects it has had on Asian adoptees.

You can read some more posts on this topic at the following…

The Korea Adoption Blog

The Reactive Attachment Disorder Blog

The Birth/First Parents Blog

And there is a very poignant post written by an adult adoptee from Korea on this topic that you can read here, on Harlow’s Monkey.