I have been writing about ways to prepare emotionally and physically for the arrival of your new child, and then sharing tips on how to make your child's adjustment into your family as smooth as possible.

My tip for this post is to lower your expectations. Cut yourself a break. Make life as easy as you can for yourself. Allow your standards for the things in life that don't "really" matter to be temporarily lowered.

When we first arrive home with a new child, what matters the most to me is ensuring that the new child, and all of our children, and getting as much love and attention as possible from me during the time of adjustment. Meeting my children's emotional needs is top priority, and since everyone is usually very emotionally needy during times of adjustment, sometimes there just isn't a lot of time for other things.

Here are some examples.

I normally keep a super clean house. It is important to me. I like things to be clean and organized. I especially like clean floors, and vacuum often. But when we have a new addition in the home, I relax my standards. If the counters get cluttered with mail that isn't sorted right away, so what? If the floors aren't as clean as they could be, it doesn't really matter. If I get behind on the laundry, oh well.

Housecleaning is certainly not the only area that parents can lower standards though. If you can cut back your work responsibilities for a few weeks, do it. If you can cut back on your responsibilities like carpooling, volunteering in your kids' classrooms, etc. for a few weeks, do it. If your kids eat macaroni and cheese or take-out a little more often than normal, it is o.k. If you spend the whole day in sweats and never get in the shower, it won't be the end of the world.

If you follow my tips on physically preparing for your child to come home, and get big projects done, get your house clean and organized and have easy meals in the freezer before your child arrives, it will be a lot easier for you to take it easy.

Lower your standards and cut yourself some slack. When your child and family are feeling settled and everyone is sleeping well and life feels "normal" again, then you can go back to super cleaning, marathon carpooling, volunteering, gourmet cooking and being up and showered by 6 a.m. (ha!) :)

And while you are at it, remember to cut your child some slack too. Remember that his whole world will be turned upside down and he will be going through huge adjustments and changes. He may be extra clingy and whiny or over the top wild and active. He could eat a ton or very little. He could sleep too much and sleep very little. He surely will not completely understand your rules and expectations and will be working to find his place. So cut him some slack too.

That is my tip for today. You can make your adjustment period easier on yourself and on your family by lowering your expectations as much as possible and giving yourself permission to be a "slacker" in some areas so you can devote extra time and attention to your adjusting family.

*Photo from Liquid Library