Chris Rock and McDonald’s

I had lofty ideas for a Martin Luther King, Jr. day post, but something that happened today put that on hold.

But first, Chris Rock.

I watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. As you may know, that’s on Comedy Central. Comedy Central’s commercials included one for a Chris Rock special. The commercial included the line:

All my Black friends have lots of White friends. All my White friends have one Black friend.

It’s true for me. I have one Black friend, and she lives in New York. Technically, she’s not even my friend, as she’s married to one of my husband’s best friends, so in the friend lottery, she belongs to him.

Jack’s pre-school classmates include several brown children. We’re friends with an interracial family in which the mom is Indian (as in, ancestors from India) and the dad is White. The families we interact with the most include them, plus 2 or 3 other White couples with White children. We don’t know anyone nearby who has adopted children. I am not good at making friends. The only reason we have the friends we do is one mom is a social butterfly and decided she liked me, which is great. I really like the situation, as we have things in common with these people and we all get along.

But I can’t help but feel that we need some Black friends. However, I firmly believe that one can’t just say “Hey, you’re Black, my kid’s Black – let’s be friends.” I couldn’t even do “You’re a stay at home mom, I’m a stay at home mom – let’s be friends.” I have to have multiple things in common with people to be really friendly. I see the posts from other adoptive parents – “how can I find Black friends?” I haven’t done a formal count, but I’d bet money that the number one answer is Church.

I don’t go to Church. I have complex theological beliefs, and my husband honestly believes God hates him. I believe in God, Christ, angels, and saints. I also believe that God loves everyone equally and does not discriminate on the basis of color, gender, race, sexual orientation, or any other arbitrary trait. I took a religious beliefs test online, and I come out Quaker. I’ve been to a few churches in my area, and nothing felt right. In fact, the one blatant discriminatory comment I’ve received was when I was visiting a church.

Today, I had lunch at McDonald’s with a new (White) friend and her daughter. It was really great. There were two Black boys there with their White Dad. Friend and I were talking about Dinosaur Train, and I said, “I love that it’s about adoption but it’s not really about adoption.” So the White Dad came over and asked, “Is your son adopted?” And I said, “Yes.” And he said, “Well, you know our kids are adopted.” And I said, “I never assume.”

We ended up getting into a conversation about their adoption. My friend is thankfully not as painfully shy as I am, so she was involved as well (though I still felt guilty for dominating the conversation). In the end, I gave my email address to the White Dad. His kids, despite being very tall, are only one year older than Jack. Jack also called the boys his “new friends” before I mentioned any of this. I don’t know if we’ll have anything in common other than adopting, but it’s a start right?

Photo Credit.

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