For the past few days I have been writing about all of the many emotions that adoptive parents often go through. Going through the adoption process brings some of the happiest of joyful moments, some of the most heartbreakingly sad moments, moment full of stress and frustration and all sorts of anxiety and worry.

Whether you are a parent just starting off on your adoption journey, or whether you are an old adoption veteran who has been through the process many times, the range and intensity of emotions you will likely feel are very real.

All of these emotions can be challenging for adoptive parents for several reasons. For one, like I have said, due to the nature and complexities of the adoption process, these emotions are likely to change rapidly and with little warning. You can be soaring high on cloud nine one minute, and crying your eyes out the next. You can be jumping with excitement because of progress made in the process one minute, and stressed to the hilt because of a new delay the next. Adoption truly is, an emotional roller coaster.

Another challenge to dealing with the emotions involved with adopting is that many people do not really support or understand how emotional the process really is for adoptive parents. When pregnant women are emotional, they are supported and given understanding, as most people expect pregnant women to be emotional.

On the flip side, most people do not understand how emotionally challenging the adoption process is. The excitement of getting that I171H in the mail, the unbelievable joy of getting a referral, the heartbreak in hearing what your child has lived through, the stresses of delays in the process, the frustrations of waiting, the anxieties of wondering about attachment and bonding, the absolute thrill of getting the travel call and so many other aspects of the process are really hard to "get" if you haven't experienced them firsthand.

I know many adoptive parents have had to physically restrain themselves after having someone tell them that by adopting, they were becoming a parent "the easy way".


Those of us who have been through it know that adoption is not the easy way of getting a child. But we also know it is worth it.

My advice to those of you going through the process and needing some support is to connect with other adoptive parents. Read some blogs, join a forum or email group, ask your agency about local support groups or find some other way to connect with other adoptive parents. They will truly be able to understand your joys, frustrations and heartaches, and help you get through them.

Remind yourself that all of these emotions are normal, and that the road to parenthood is supposed to be emotional.

And when all else fails and you are having a tough day, I highly recommend ice cream. :)



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