When my husband and I first started adopting children, we never considered a domestic adoption. We had heard so many “horror” stories about families having babies taken back after placement, etc. and that it was extremely difficult and expensive, etc. It wasn’t until we had an international placement fall through and an agency mention to us that they had an African American domestic newborn program that they were recruiting families for, that we started to think about it.

Private domestic adoption of a newborn or young child (I will discuss foster care adoption in its own post), is a very different experience than an international adoption. What appeals to one family is scary to another, and everyone has to choose what is right for them.

It is important to note that in regards to private domestic adoptions, each state has their own laws and regulations, and there are hundreds if not thousands of private agencies and facilitators that place children for adoption in the U.S. Just as in international adoption, there are good agencies, and there are less scrupulous agencies. Facilitators are not monitored closely and licensed like agencies are, and are not even legal in some states, but some are very good and charge much lower fees than the agencies.

A good domestic adoption agency, the kind you want to look for, will provide great care and support of the pregnant women that they work with, as well as for the adoptive parents. Ask agencies what support, services, etc. they give to pregnant women that contact the agency. Ask what their policies are in a situation where a woman who has made an adoption plan for her child chooses to parent instead. Ask for references. Ask for total fee information (this can vary WIDELY). Ask what the fees cover and what they don’t. Ask all the questions you can think of. Compare notes between agencies. Research, research, research. It is the responsibility of adoptive parents to use honest, ethical agencies who treat the pregnant women with respect and put their wants, desires, wishes and needs first. An agency's priority should always be to find a loving home for a baby who needs one, not to find babies for parents who want one.

In a private domestic adoption, some of the benefits for adoptive parents are being able to have a very young baby placed with you, and sometimes, being able to be present for the birth. In a day and age where more people are realizing the benefits to all involved of open adoptions, contact with your child’s birth family is possible before and after placement. Travel, if required, is within the U.S., which is easier than international travel, and another huge plus in my book is that you do not have to deal with the USCIS.

Personally, we were able to develop a wonderful relationship with or son’s mother before his birth, we were able to be present for the birth, and were able to maintain a relationship for a period afterwards. We got to learn about our son’s background, family medical history, where he is from, etc. I have been in my son’s life from the moment he was born, and his adoption was an amazing experience for us. I can show him photos of his birth mother, tell him all about her, tell him why she made an adoption plan for him, and help him find her one day if he wishes.

One of the more difficult aspects of private domestic adoption for prospective adoptive parents is the fact that the child you hope to be yours, is in fact not yours, until the mother of that child decides 100% that placing her child for adoption is the right thing for her and the child. Prospective adoptive parents have to be able to be on board once “matched” with an expectant mother, and be able to accept the fact that while the plan is for the child to be placed with them, that the plan very well may change once the child is born, and that it is the mother’s right to make that decision.

This situation can be very heart-breaking for adoptive parents, especially ones who have come to the decision to adopt after suffering through infertility and have already suffered a lot of losses and disappointments.

As far as children available, children of all races and many multiracial children are available. Sometimes the exact racial makeup of a child is unknown. The agency that we used for one of our domestic adoptions told us that they had long lists of waiting prospective parents for every Caucasian baby that they had to place, they had fairly equal numbers of bi-racial babies and prospective families, and that they often had more African American babies to place than they did families waiting. Reflecting this trend is the fact that most domestic agencies charge lower fees for black babies than they do white babies. You can read about my feelings on that here.

In a U.S. domestic private adoption, parents must complete a homestudy and then a “profile”, which is pretty much a book report on your life, complete with pictures, which agencies present to mothers who want to choose an adoptive family for their baby. Some families are chosen for a baby very quickly, and sometimes the wait can stretch out to months and even years. It is not a predictable process as far as the waiting goes, which can be wonderfully surprisingly fast, or horribly long and slow.

Adoption.com’s informational page on U.S. Domestic newborn adoption provides lots of great info and is a good starting place. After reading you can go over to the Adoption.com forums and join in some of the many forums that relate to domestic infant adoption.

Please note that adoption information can vary from agency to agency and change frequently. This information is research I have done to aid readers only, and all prospective adoptive parents should use this as general info only and contact a licensed adoption agency (or several agencies) to verify information before choosing a program.

*This post is part of a series, giving information on countries and international adoption programs and domestic programs that allow transracial adoption. To see all of the countries and programs I have given information on thus far, click on the category "Transracial Adoption Options" on the right-hand side of this page.