Another of the many fears of prospective adoptive parents that can often turn into an adoption barrier, is the fear of being “swindled” by an adoption agency.

I remember when we first started our very first adoption, and planned on adopting a baby girl from Vietnam. One of the reactions we got early on from family members was along the lines of, “What if the agency takes all your money and you never get a baby?”

I have heard this fear repeated over and over, and it is a legitimate one. For many adoptive parents, and many parents considering adoption, money is a huge issue and worry. For the average adoptive family, paying the $10-20,000 or more for an adoption is not as easy as writing a check or two…it involves saving, borrowing, fundraising, etc.

I know for us, if in any of our adoptions we had lost all of money because of an unscrupulous agency, we would have been done. Our dreams of adopting would have been gone with the money, because as hard as it was to scrape it together the first time, it would have be near impossible to scrape it together again in a short amount of time.

And yet, in the “big picture”, the number of attempted adoptions that end with the adoptive parents out of money and without a child, are very small compared to the number of adoptions that result in the parents being blessed with a new child.

I think that one of the reasons that many people have such fears related to adoption “scams” is because of the media. For every one “happy ending” adoption story you hear about or read about in the news, there are a handful more of “adoption gone wrong” stories. And while there certainly are “adoption gone wrong” stories out there, I believe that the number appears to be much greater than it really is, because of the fact that the media likes to focus on the bad stories.

I was interviewed on the phone once by a reporter doing a story on adoption. I was telling our happy adoption story, giving lots of details, when she interrupted and said, “Well, what went wrong?” I thought and said, “Well, nothing. It all went smoothly and our daughter is wonderful.” And the reported said, “I am not interested in that kind of story.” Conversation ended. Our happy story wasn’t news.

So while it is good to read the “adoption gone wrong” stories and learn from them…learn what not to do, what red flags to look for, etc… it is also important to remember that there are many, many “happy ending” adoption stories out there. They just don’t get the same amount of attention.

In my next post I will share a very recent “adoption gone wrong” story, and give tips on how to avoid becoming the victim of an unscrupulous agency, and how to move forward with your adoption with confidence.

Resources...

Adoption Stories on Adoption.com

Adoption Information and Support on Adopting.com