In my last post I wrote about some of the pleasant surprises we had in our early days with Belane. In this post I will share some of the challenges that we faced with adopting a three year-old from Ethiopia (she turned three years old on our first day home). Some of the challenges were expected and some were not.

- She was really, really, really anxious about always being near me. I mean she was super anxious. She really liked having a mom, and wanted to be sure that I was not going to disappear. If I closed the door to go to the bathroom, if I closed the shower curtain all the way or if I in any other way disappeared from her line of sight, she freaked out. This was true for our two weeks together in Ethiopia and for quite a while once we got home. Eventually at home she got braver and braver about going to play in other rooms, etc. When she is over tired or not feeling well she will still want me to be close by or will be whiny if she can't find me right away, but for the most part, this went away after six or so months home.

- She completely shut down around other people, especially if we were outside of our hotel room (or outside of our home once we got back to the U.S.). Her entire body would turn limp like a noodle, and she would refuse to lift her head to look at anyone or answer a question. It made going anywhere really hard. I don't know if she was afraid I was going to leave her or if someone was going to take her or what was going through her mind. We tried to go out to eat a few times in Ethiopia with friends, and she could not stand having people around the table looking at her. She literally would not say a word or make a sound, and then we'd get back to the hotel room and she would sing, dance and talk incessantly.

Even after she was pretty well settled in at home, she would turn her head instead of answer a stranger that said "hi" or asked her her name. She finally turned this around over Labor Day weekend when we went to a family camp. Now she will smile, say hi and ask someone their name, and respond appropriately when they ask her the same. She is really proud of herself!

Continued in my next post...