After adopting an infant and a toddler internationally and then adopting a newborn and two older children domestically, we were feeling pretty confident in our experience level.

The next child to join our family was our Benjamin Bekalu from Ethiopia. Ben was about five years old when we accepted his referral, and we felt that he would fit in perfectly in our family line up. His age put him just over a year younger than Shane, and just over a year older than Maggie and Amanda.

We knew enough about his family background to know that he had been very loved, and had been a part of a loving family. We also knew that he had only been in an orphanage setting for a relatively short period of time, and we hoped that those circumstances would lead to him being able to adjust, bond and attach to our family without too much difficulty.

We were able to send a photo album of pictures of our family to Ben, and we received video of him learning about our family for the first time. It was so priceless to watch him look at our pictures, say our names and be genuinely excited about having a new family. Thanks to many other families who traveled for their children before we did, we got many updates and pictures of Ben while we waited. We heard over and over how excited he was for us to come, which of course fueled our excitement.

Our trip to Ethiopia was special in a lot of ways. For one, it was the first time that Josh and I were getting to travel for an adoption together. It was also our first time to Africa. As we left our house just after midnight, we were full of emotions. I was sad about leaving my kids at home, I was nervous about being away from them, I was super excited for the journey ahead of us, and most of all, I was very emotional about meeting our new son.

I felt confident that Ben would be happy to see us, as we kept hearing how excited he was, however I was nervous about parenting a child that we could not communicate with, and I worried about his adjustment. It was the first time we were adopting an older child in which language would be a big factor.

When we arrived at the orphanage early that morning in February 2006, I was just a bundle of nerves, excitement, joy and many other emotions. As the gate opened, we saw the children lined up in small plastic chairs in front of the building, and I spotted Ben almost immediately in the very first chair. I knew he knew we were in that van and I was dying to know what he was thinking and how he was feeling!

As we got out of the van and approached him, Ben did not jump up and hug as as we sort of expected (from hearing over and over how excited he was). Instead, while he was all smiles, he was also very shy. He accepted our small hugs and interacted with us a little, but it was the other kids that were calling out our names and hanging on our arms, trying to get our attention.

Slowly, Ben started to lift his eyes a little more and interact with us more. A new pair of blinky-light sneakers definitely helped! He also stole my watch, and thought he was very cool wearing it. However, it took most of the day before he started to feel comfortable with us and wanted to be around us.

Continued in my next post.