Today, Sept. 11, is a sad anniversary for our country, and a sad anniversary for the world. It is hard to believe that is has already been five years since the fall of the Twin Towers, and I know that today will mean a lot of different things for different people.

It is a day of remembering…a day of memorial…a day of grief…a day of reflection.

Sept. 11, 2001 was like a nightmare. I remember listening the radio and trying to force my brain to wrap around what was really happening. I wanted to believe it was a joke or a misunderstanding…a horrible accident or a nightmare.

When it finally started to sink in that this was real, and the true level of horror of the situation started to fill my heart and my mind, my first thoughts were my family.

We did not lose anyone close to us on Sept. 11, 2001, but my family is all in New York, and my Dad is regularly in the city, and we were just very lucky that the day did not turn out to be one of more personal tragedy for us. We were lucky, but so many others were not. We watched the same horrible, repetitive news casts that the rest of the country was watching, and we cried.

After several frantic phone calls to check on family and friends, my fears switched gears. I feared for our country. I feared for our safety. I feared the possibility of more attacks. But most of all I feared for my daughter.

On Sept. 11, 2001, we were waiting and waiting for our referral of a baby girl from Vietnam. Our fees had been paid, our paperwork turned in and the agency was telling us that they expected a referral for us in the very near future. That meant I would be getting on a plane and flying to Vietnam shortly after that for my first of two around the world adoption trips for our baby girl.

Would adoptions continue? Would the INS continue to issue visas to anyone? Would I be able to travel? Would I be safe to travel? Did our hopes and dreams of having a daughter crumple and fall with those majestic and symbolic Twin Towers?

On Sept. 30, 2001, our Margaret Kim Claire was born, and in mid-November 2001, just two months after Sept. 11, I boarded plane after plane, alone, on a journey to my daughter.

Security was tighter than tight. The mood on all of the flights was tense. I’ve never been a fearful flyer, but on that trip, I felt fear.

But I did what America did. I put on a brave face and went forward, and did not the terrorists and the fear stop my life or my plans.

Our country is different today than it was five years ago. We are less naïve and more aware of the dangers out there. We realize we are not invincible. We are more on our toes, hopefully more prepared. I’d like to think that we are a bit more united. We are injured and scarred…we were knocked off our feet. But we got up again.