I am going to take a break from all of my writing about adoption barriers and concerns, and share something a little bit more light-hearted for this post.

Today was one of those busy busy days...making appointments, boosting kids in and out of the van repeatedly and the seemingly endless process of buckling and unbuckling carseats.

I used to be able to run errands without calling any attention to myself. I could blend right into the crowd, and get in and out of the stores, doctor offices, etc. without standing out in any way. Once we became a transracial family, that all went out the window.

I have written a lot in the past about the comments, reactions, questions and situations that can occur when you are "out and about" with kids who don't look like you. The comments are pretty constant when I am out with my crew. Most people are just curious, although some are down right rude, and every once and awhile I get one that is really wonderful.

Today I was at public health filling out some paperwork for Belane, and I could feel a comment coming on. One of the women that works in the office was attentatively studying my kids. I had Amanda, Maggie, Belane and Marcus with me, so two Asian kids and two black kids. She was trying to be discreet, but I am way too experienced with this stuff not to notice when we are being studied. I saw her stealing some glances at me and trying to make eye contact, and I knew she was going to say something.

Would it be the dreaded, "Oh, you are such a saint!"

Or the endless, "Are they twins?" (directed at either pair of kids)

Or possibly the even worse, "What do you charge for day care?"

Nope.

When I finally made eye contact with the woman, she quietly said, "Wow! What a beautiful garden of flowers you have. You are so lucky." (and I ensure you that I have no real garden she could have been referring to.) :)

Thank you kind woman at public health. Thank you for noticing that my children are beautiful (they are!!!) Thank you for not saying as most people do, that my kids are "so lucky" for being adopted by us. Thank you instead for realizing that I am truly the lucky one for having them. Thank you for not asking questions or passing judgement, and for just accepting us a family. Thank you for being kind and lifting my spirits on a busy day.

I share this with you because I know a lot of adoptive parents can get very defensive when they are out in the world. I know how easily that can happen. You get one too many rude comments, one too many prying questions or one too many long stares, and all of a sudden you don't want to talk to anyone you don't know, and avoid conversations with the people staring at your family.

This was a good reminder for me that every so often someone will have something great to say.

And funny that she should use the words garden and flowers...here is a post I wrote a while back likening my kids to gardners.