I just found the most wonderful podcast on transracial adoption. It was recommended on another adoption board by an African American woman, and in her recommendation, she stated that this was the first time she heard a white woman who truly understands racism.

Here is the link. (It's a .wma audio file.)

This podcast is presented by Children’s Home Society and Family Services, who we used for our Ethiopian adoption. They make education of adoptive parents a priority, and this podcast is just one wonderful example.

The talk is about 40 minutes long, and I strongly encourage everyone to listen to it. Put it on while you are folding laundry, working at your desk, cooking dinner or washing dishes. It is well worth the time (and I am a woman who does NOT have a lot of spare time laying around!!)

Here are just a few of the wonderful points made in this talk.

Biologically, race does not exist. It is a myth that is about three centuries old, that was invented by Europeans. They believed that Africans, Asians, Native Americans and anyone with dark skin were biologically different and inferior to white people. They used this belief to justify slavery and taking land away from Native Americans, Mexicans and others. It also was the start of racism.

While biologically it does not exist, socially and historically, racism is very real. Racial identity is as important as gender identity in our society. Race is one of the ways that people identify each other by. Don’t be colorblind, as it is confusing and damaging to transracially adopted children, when their parents ignore race.

Once you adopt transracially, you are no longer a white family. Your family becomes integrated for all time. Issues that face minority families become issues that you and your family will face.

Race must be addressed. Be proactive, and start young. Use books and all of the many resources that are available to parents today to help you.

Racism is real. It is not a question of if your child or family will face racism, but when. You cannot prevent your child from experiencing racism, but you can prepare them.

Listen to your child. They will be the experts on racism, not you. Believe them and listen to them when they tell you about racism and their experiences out in the world.

Learn to recognize discrimination. Talk about it and tell your children that it is not about them. It is about other people’s ignorance.

Have zero tolerance for racial jokes, slurs and any other form of discrimination and racism. When someone talks this way in your presence, stop it immediately, even if that person is a friend or family member. It will be hard, but it is very important that you set that example for your child.

The big “dilemma” of transracial adoption is finding a way to have your child connect, bond and belong to you and your family, and continue to belong to their heritage too. It is very important that you do not make them choose between you and their heritage.

And perhaps my favorite piece of wisdom that I got from this podcast is, “children gain far more from transracial adoption than they lose”.