In my last post, I wrote about why I feel it is important for adoptive parents to try and "prepare for the worst" when it comes to how their new child will behave, adjust, bond and attach after coming home.

On the flip side of that, I also believe that adoptive parents need to hope for the best. While it is good to educate yourself on what challenges you may face, it is also important to be optimistic. Every parent to be (whether by birth or by adoption) hopes that their baby will sleep through the night and will not be fussy.

Every adoptive parent hopes that their child will be one of the ones to come right to them willingly, instead of screaming or crying when placed in their arms. We all hope that our kids will sleep well, eat well, accept their new families easily and will not have any outrageously challenging behaviors. That is good, healthy and normal. Parents want what is best for their children and their families (and let's face it, no one really wishes for things to be more difficult than they need to be).

So to counteract all of the adoption education you receive, and all of the "scary" stories you hear and read about, make sure you also listen to the stories of children who had very easy adjustments (we had a few of those!) and make sure you listen to the stories of kids who had challenges in their early days, but ended up happy and well-attached some time later. These are great to hear, because if your child does have some challenges early on (which most do on one level or another), you will know that things will get better.


I think that adoptive parents need to be optimistic. I think that we need to be realistic, but that we also owe it to ourselves and to our kids to be optimistic. We need to be hopeful that our kids will bond to us and will truly belong in our families. We need to be hopeful that despite being transracially adopted and facing challenges in their lives, our kids will grow up to be happy, healthy and self confident adults.

We have entered into all of our adoptions educated and prepared, and yet hopeful and confident that we would love our new child, and our new child would come to love us, and that our family would be better when the dust settled. :)


*If you have not yet participated, make sure you visit this post and enter the fun giveaway for National Adoption Month thanks to Curls.