The idea that you could possibly not know how old your child is, sounds really bizarre to most people. I cannot tell you how many times after Ben came home that someone would ask me how old he was, and my answer of "about five" would be met with crazy stares and looks of disbelief.

In reality though, it is really not uncommon for adoptive parents, who are adopting internationally, to not know the exact age of their child for a variety of reasons. In many countries, birthdays are not celebrated or even acknowledged. Birth certificates and records that we are used to are often not kept.

Sometimes a child's accurate age and birth date are unknown because a child was abandoned without any identifying information. Sometimes a child's accurate age and birth date are unknown even when they have been relinquished by a family member.

When a child comes into an orphanage and a birth date is unknown for whatever reason, someone, whether is be a social worker, doctor or other orphanage staff, has to estimate that child's age. This can be very challenging, and since many children are brought into care after suffering some level of malnourishment and/or poverty, children are often small for their age.

It is also not uncommon for family members that are relinquishing children (and those doing the age estimating) to state that the children are younger than they really are, in hopes of helping them get adopted more quickly.

It is a fact that the overwhelming majority of adoptive parents want young children, and that a three year old is much easier to place than a six year old, and a six year old is much easier to place than a nine year old. While it is easy (for me) to take issue with adoption agency staff stating that children are younger than they are in hopes of getting them placed more easily, as a mom, I find it hard to blame a mother who is relinquishing her child for adoption for doing all that she can to try and help her child find a new family as quickly as possible.

So if you are adopting internationally, it is a good idea to be prepared for the fact that you may never know your child's actual date of birth, and you may not even ever get to know exactly how old your child is.

In my next post I will share some tips on estimating your child's age and choosing a birth date.