In my last two posts I discussed the benefits and the risks associated with domestic infant transracial adoption.

In this post, I am going to give you some tips to minimize your domestic adoption risks.

-Before choosing to adopt domestically, you should do some real soul-searching and decide honestly if you can handle the emotional risks associated with domestic infant adoption. If you are able to prepare yourself for disappointment while keeping hopeful, and remembering that many domestic adoptive parents face loss and still end up with the baby of their dreams, then this may be the right adoption option for you. If having a “match” with a pregnant mother fall through would be devastating to you, then this may not be the best choice.

-As always, research, research, research. Make a list of questions and ask them to all agencies you are considering. Here are some examples…How do you come in contact with pregnant women considering adoption? Is open adoption possible? Is open adoption required? What are the laws in your state regarding relinquishments? What fees do you charge? Do you offer counseling and support groups to the pregnant women you work with? If my adoption falls through, do the fees I have already paid get credited towards my next adoption or not? Do you charge a fee to allow us to be on your waiting list? Do you allow adoptive parents to work with several agencies at once while waiting for a placement? How many babies have you placed in the last year? How many families do you have on your waiting list? Also, be sure to ask about any special circumstances that may apply to your family early on in the process (health concerns, large family, etc.)


-Talk to references. Ask to talk to adoptive parents that have used the agency, and if possible, talk to a birthmother or two that has placed a child through the agency. That will truly give you the “big picture” of how they operate. You want an agency that not only treats adoptive parents with respect, but also one that treats the pregnant women that they work with with respect.

-Know the laws in your state, and the state the agency is in (if it is an out-of-state agency). Every state has different laws regarding when a birthmother can relinquish her rights and at what point they become irreversible. Some states have a waiting period in between when a mother can sign relinquishments and when they are effective, and during that waiting period, the mother is fully able to change her mind. Accepting a baby during that waiting period is of obvious risk to the adoptive parents.

-You should also know the laws in your state and the state the placement will be in regarding finalization and birth father rights.

-Fully understanding how an agency works will help you make the best choice and minimize risks. Some agencies do not place babies with adoptive parents during the waiting periods for the relinquishments to be irrevocable, eliminating the risk to adoptive parents of taking home a baby that they later have to return. Some agencies are willing to wait to match a baby to adoptive parents until after the baby is born and relinquishments are signed, eliminating the risk to adoptive parents of being matched with a mother that plans on adoption, and then chooses to parent. There are many variables to how/when a "match" and a placement can be made.

-If possible, network with several agencies. Many agencies do not charge to have your profile listed with them, and the more agencies that are presenting your profile to mothers, the faster you are likely to get a baby.

Resources...

The Transracial Adoption Forum

Adoption Network- tool for adoptive parents

Adopting Secrets-info for adoptive parents