I have written quite a few posts on this blog about hair.

You can read this one on Transracial Adoption Hair Care, and this one on learning how to "do hair",.

You can also read "Adventures in Hair Care" Part One, Part Two, Part Three and the Follow Up.


There is no doubt that hair care is a big issue in transracial adoption. The care and styling of black children’s hair is both an important aspect of building healthy self esteem in the children and a way of showing the world that you, as the adoptive parent, have cared enough to learn how to properly care and style your child’s hair.

I have heard from adoptive parents who had difficult moments when they were “reprimanded” by African American adults out in public for not having their adopted child’s hair properly cared for, and I have heard from adoptive parents who have had some of their proudest adoptive-parent-moments when they got complimented on their child’s hair by a black person. (I know I was prouder than the proverbial peacock when a woman was surprised my daughter’s hair hadn’t been done at a salon, and was then extra surprised to learn I was white.) 

I am far from a professional, and all of my “hair skills” have been learned on the fly, out of necessity. Our girls joined our family at ages 9 and 6, and I had little to no prep time for their home coming. Black hair care products, washing, conditioning, oils, lotions, braids, cornrows were all completely new to me. Talk about being “baptized with fire!”

My very rudimentary pony tails and braids evolved over time to more detailed styles. My clumsy fingers got more and more nimble and familiar with the motions of “doing hair”. I went from looking at their hair and thinking “that is acceptable” to looking at their hair and thinking “that’s pretty dang good.”

Now they’ve been with us for almost three years, and I have a variety of styles I can do easily, and there isn’t a whole lot I “can’t” do. I have gotten tons faster. I am still far from an expert, but definitely take pride in the job I do. However living where we do, I didn’t think too many people would take notice of my girls’ hair. Yesterday I found out I was wrong about that!

I got a phone call from another adoptive parent in our area. They have a 13 year old son that they have had since he was young, who has always had his hair short. Now he has grown it out into a decent “fro”, and wants it corn-rowed. They don’t know how.

They called around to the hair shops in our area and asked around in the schools and a few other places, and apparently 12 different people told them to call me! (and that they mentioned how great my girls always look).

So somehow, this paler than pale Irish gal has become the hairdresser for hire for black hair!

I told them that I am FAR from a professional and that I didn’t feel comfortable taking any money, but that I would gladly do it .I sure hope that they are happy with the results.

I can say that it did wonders for my self esteem, and my girls think it is VERY cool that I am going to braid an eighth grade boy’s hair (and a cute eighth grade boy at that).

Three years ago I’d never done a single corn-row, and now I am being asked to do someone else’s child’s hair. Who would have guessed it????