In my last two posts, I have written about two articles courtesy of the Salt Lake Tribune on international and transracial adoption. The first article discussed a variety of topics related to international adoption, including the “search for identity” by adopted children, and the second article was written by an adult adoptee from India who shared her feelings on not “belonging” in either the U.S. or in India.

The article I am going to write about today is from the same series, and is titled, “Transition to a New World.” This article is about Governor Jon and Mary Kaye Huntsman from Utah, and their adoption of a little girl from India and how she has adjusted during her first three months home. I briefly wrote about their adoption here. As we know, bringing a child from an orphanage in another country into a typical American home can be quite overwhelming and involves huge changes for that child. There is definitely an adjustment period for the child, as well as the family.

The Huntsman family has a daughter that was adopted from China and they have five biological children as well. The article discusses why they decided to adopt and the criticism they have faced for choosing to adopt internationally instead of domestically. I have written about this before, but I just don’t get why people seem to think they should have a say in how others should create their families. I also don’t understand the mentality that a child in need in the U.S. is more deserving of being adopted than a child in need any where else in the world. I think every family has to find and choose the adoption program that is right for their family and situation, and unless someone is going to help pay for it, they don’t get a vote. :)

The article discusses how the Huntsman family hopes to help their children come to terms with their past, how they feel about their birth mothers, the importance of their birth cultures and the ways in which they try to help the girls feel connected to their cultures and create a truly multinational family. These are issues relevant to all transracial adoptive families.

I do have to admit that I cringed a few times, reading quotes in the article. I think this one bugged me the most…

"Our policy from the very beginning has been to be very open in discussions with Gracie, as we will be with Asha, about her circumstances and where she's come from and how lucky she is to be here," Jon Huntsman Jr. says.

While it is easy to see how people look at a child that was an orphan, living in poverty, alone in the world…and now is living a privileged life in America in a loving family, as being “lucky”, that is not the message we are supposed to be sending our children.

Adoption is not a rescue mission and it is not charity work. Is Belane lucky that instead of living in a run down orphanage that she lives here and has a loving family and four million pink toys and a closet full of girlie clothes, and of course, access to top-notch medical care and life-saving medications? Sure. BUT, we are even luckier that we have been given this little girl…this perfect little princess…to love and care for…to get kisses and giggles and hugs and all of the blessings and joys that a child brings. Ethiopia gave us a child...one of their most precious resources.

So yes, she's lucky. But so are we. We’re equally blessed to be together.

I would never harp on her that she is “so lucky” to be here, because that sends a message of indebtedness. Just like a marriage would not be healthy if one spouse was always telling the other how “lucky” he was that they were together, adopted children shouldn’t be made to feel that they owe something because of their place in the family.

That quote is the kind of thing that adoptive parents hate to hear.

But, (off my soapbox now), all in all, it was a good article. I did really like the end, where they mentioned that despite the struggles the Huntsman girls might face because of being internationally adopted, that they would have the love, support and understanding of each other. I often feel that way when I look at my kids…that having other transracially adopted siblings is going to be a blessing in their lives as they get older.

Give it a read...let me know what you think.